15th March 2009

Challenging Times 2 replies

I know a few people who are really challenged by what is happening in our economy.  One could lose her house this week.  Another couple is having a hard time getting project.  And you can add me to that list in someways.  Granted, my challenges are two-fold but sweet in a strange way.  When I decided to walk down this IVF path, I knew that there was a chance that I would not be able to run the company at the office, have employees, jet-set around the world at conferences, and work on major key accounts like Pier 1 Imports and SpaFinder Magazine, or even Levenger.  I’d grown the company to 12 employees.  I’d spoken at over 30 conferences worldwide.  I’d been asked to sit on an educational board that helped develop two SEMPO trade association courses.  I’d managed to develop a syllabus at Ohio State’s Fisher College of Business and teach two consecutive years.  So not a bad journey in 12 years, but no family, no children and thus I knew if I would head down this path of pursuing mommyhood alone, that I might sacrifice a lot work-wise. 

 This past week was challenging at best.  It takes $25 minimum to run my office.  I have clients who are struggling and putting the squeeze on us, asking for more.  You wrack your brain trying to help them with their business, and help them to attract business in a tough economy.  You hear the bad news on the TV, or on the radio every time you turn it on, which is why I stopped tuning in but once a week.  You hear friends, family and others struggling.  Some of it self-inflicted, but others not so much.  So, it’s not a huge surprise that I’m beginning to really feel the pinch in my business, and potentially at home if I don’t make some changes quickly.

I have Melina to protect, and myself as well in order to be her provider.  A few months ago I said there was a chance I’d have to give up the office space (which was a huge source of pride) in order to operate in a more lean environment.  I may be doing that this week.  I have put furniture up on www.craigslist.com and while I have someone interested in sub-letting the space, it may not be soon enough as I’m at a critical junction.  As I get inquiries on the furniture, some of it is quite hard to part with - I’m so very proud of the hard work and accomplishments that are wrapped up into the office.  But, when I look at Melina, I say that taking your business back into your home so that you can stay in business, quite frankly, and be a mom, is not so bad, in the big picture. 

I could have worked harder, smarter, better - sure, I could have.  I can always work smarter, faster, harder.  But some days there is only so much brain power to solve everyone’s problems that you can handle. 

Tonight, I ran into a neighbor who had been so very, very supportive of my desire to have a child.  She went down the adoption path instead of IVF.  She put out at least $35k, if not more now due to Homeland Security annual fees, for a Chinese child.  Nothing came of it despite notices it would be a few more months, a few times.  Tonight, I ran into her, and she started crying easily which  then made me cry and I didn’t even know what we were crying about.  Women - we are so funny about that stuff.  Anyway, an unwanted child - a third child for a 17-year old girl.  Her first pregnancy - very young - before I was even thinking of such things - 6th grade, ugh.  Shoot, that was before I even had my confirmation in the Catholic church.  How sad.  So, what my neighbor is looking at is some $15,000 or more in fees - and she’s already paid $35k in adoption fees.  She’s dedicated her life to taking care of infants and very young children.  Why is she denied a chance to be a Mother?  So many tried to tell me that it wasn’t in the plans - but that’s a cop-out.  I went through only one IVF, but many IUIs, and ICIs or whatever the heck those things are - and finally the IVF was the solution despite my concerns.  And today, as my readers know, I am happily a Mom.  So, my friend’s problems - gosh I feel deeply for her pain.  Her problems are different than losing a house, a job, cancer (another neighbor), or an office space. 

I’d say that while my struggle this week may be great, I know many who have lost so much more - so I have to remember that as I may be forced to owe $42k or more in office rent, and yet walk away from it.  I have a contract that puts me in that space till December so what will happen then, right?  If I can sell enough furniture, which I have plenty that I don’t use, then I can perhaps stay there and slowly rebuild the company in small measure.

This week I have a friend coming to visit who lost everything, home and office, in New Orleans.  They had to uproot the family of five, animals included thankfully, and move to Baton Rouge.  How hard that must have been - one cannot even conceive of how hard that must have been for them. 

So this week will be tough.  But as there are deals that on the table, and as I am happily able to work from home on these projects, with babycare available while I work from home, it’s not so bad.  I just have to get past my ego and I will have always have my memories.  There is nothing to say I can’t do this again, and of course, there is nothing to say that my property management won’t work with me.  The chances they can get someone into space for $5400 a month is not likely right now. 

Okay, signing off to return to working on my  website, which I’ve squeezed in the past week quite a bit, when I’m not posting to Craigslist.com or working on client projects.  And this in between dog/cat and Melina walks outside (two today), talking to family and friends, and a load of laundry.

So, you can imagine that my kitchen sink - well - that’s suffered as a result of my occupation elsewhere.

2 Responses to “Challenging Times”

  1. Kristi says:
    March 15th, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    I have friends doing badly as well. It’s scary. But children definitely make it all better. Your positive (while a bit sad) outlook is uplifting!

  2. Brian Dunstan says:
    March 19th, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    Hi Laura. I don’t know if you remember me. I am Ross Webb’s friend who he introduced to you last summer. We met for lunch at Champs where we discussed the possibility of me working for you doing some web design work. I wound up overwhelmed with classes last summer and never got back to you about doing hourly work. Since then I have graduated college with a Bachelor’s in Chemical Engineering but have been unable to find work related to my degree. I have also moved in with my girlfriend and her mom here in Columbus while I look for a job. I recently had a conversation with Ross and your name came up. I wound up Googling you and read this most recent blog posting Monday afternoon. I can identify with the loss of pride of vacating and subletting your office space. It is tough out there. I am glad to hear you are managing and finding a few good aspects of your situation amongst the difficulties. Congrats on the baby girl by the way. I saw a picture of her in one of your other recent postings and she is very cute. I’m sure she is there helping you stay strong and positive every day. Anyway, before I start writing a novel… Keep in touch and best of luck. If there is anything I can do to help you with your business, let me know.

    ~ Brian

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