22nd October 2009

An Email to My Father at 4:45 a.m. Today

It’s not even 5 a.m. - and I’m up and online.  I received an email early this morning from my father about his birthday escape.  I was online to blog about my dog out of frustration, after being up with the baby for an hour, but I think my response to my Dad’s email about his birthday, escaping life, and a reference to Obama and healthcare is a good reference to my mood.  Here is my response. 

Dear Dad,

 

It is not quite 5 a.m.  I’m online so I can blog about how much I hate my dog.

 

Can Lucky attend the 4-day escape and will you throw her overboard?

 

She can not swim.  This is how I know she is not a Labrador retriever as most people erroneously think she is.

 

Nah - I’d feel guilty.

 

I came home from what today, oh the vet, to pick up the two cats who needed shots, and selling an entire year of unwanted baby clothes so I could get $24 in cash from Once Upon a Child, only to find Lucky had eaten an ENTIRE container of expensive, gifted baby oil (about 16 oz) and chewed the container itself, then pooped, then tried to clean it up (by eating it).  This is the day after Lucky tried to eat the $10 container of just purchased Baby Motrin that I desperately need for both teething baby and Mom’s sanity.  My daughter who is getting her two front top teeth could use a little Motrin at 4 a.m. but my dog needed it more.

 

Fast-forward 18 hours - At 4 a.m. this morning, Melina stirred and woke up slightly.  I laid in bed listening to decide whether or not I should go in.  She would have likely gone back to sleep by herself, but the dog who is afraid of me coming in and telling her to get off the bed, decides to jump off the bed (in Melina’s room) and run underneath the bed where she belongs.

 

This woke up Melina really good.

 

Now Melina is back in bed -she’s had her juice - she’s getting her two front teeth- and is congested from all the colds she gets from OSU students/sitters, and teething.  I’m also congested.  No, we do not have H1N1 or so the docs tell me.  I’ve applied the Vapor’s Baby Rub to her and yes, some for Mommy too.  I’ve given her baby saline, which she promptly batted at me, and then calmed down after remembering this actually helps her breathe better.  I’ve refilled the cool mist humidifier because I can’t open her window, because someone stole the screen out of her window and my dog failed to kill the person.

 

Lucky has been admonished to downstairs after going outside and pooping some more baby oil.

 

The 7 week old kitten is downstairs in the bathroom quarantine playing with her toilet cap.  She’s happy and quieting down.

 

Dad - no one could fix the healthcare system in 10 months.  It is not Obama’s fault.  Stop blaming him for it.

 

We know that the idiot in the Republican White House didn’t fix healthcare in 8 years - so don’t expect Obama to do it in less than a year.

 

Okay, enjoy your escape.

 

I’d like to do the same thing, or just shoot my dog.  I think a 4-day escape on the water would probably be more productive however.

 

Love to all copied on this email.

 

Have a wonderful day.

 

Laura

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