15th December 2008

Breastfeeding - Pumping Schedule Seems To Be Working 1 reply

Today, Melina is three weeks old. 
I can’t believe it’s already been three weeks since she arrived.  That day of her arrival in the hospital seems a long time ago at the same time.  That’s only exhaustion talking because I have never felt this extended amount of exhaustion in my life that I can recall. 
School - cramming for exams - then on to the real world of working my butt off in my business - and having to work for a very long time at something or an event - all of those brought about exhaustion, but it was temporary.  It never seemed to last more than a week or so.  Or, if it started back up again the next week, there was refueling time for at least a day or two.  Down time, if not complete rest time, where I could catch my breath.  In fact, often, I’d get sick because travel always took the most out of me, combine that with multiple speaking engagements, shaking 200 people’s hands, and much more.  So now, the exhaustion - well, it’s different. 
I’ve adjusted my schedule accordingly.  It’s taken three weeks, but I’m actually beginning to feel somewhat like I can handle this, sort of.  That’s until she throws me her next curve ball, right?  But, in general, I’m getting used to what she wants, her timing, her cries, her gestures, and what to do to make things work better.  I’m still getting pee’d on - don’t get me wrong.  Do I really HAVE to buy that goofy butt wipe warmer?  Am I going to be a helicopter parent?  Is this the first sign?  ;-)  But invariably it’s hit or miss with the wipes - and Melina lets me know her thoughts on that temperature.  They don’t feel that cold to me ….. of course, it’s not my ….
Beyond extraordinary exhaustion, beyond wanting to not have to worry about “it’s been 2-3 hours, and I need to pump again”, or the fact that my boobs feel like they’re about to turn INSIDE OUT, and feel as they’ve been dragged along the curb for a bout a mile on a sandy highway - yeah - it’s all good - no complaints.  Hee hee.  ‘
I’ve been eating a little too much sugar lately - that has me worried - I’m chuckling because it’s like I need to feel like I’m doing something “risque” and that is the crux of it - I had Christopher bring me some ice cream, then there were the sugar cookies from today from Beth - then there was that tub of icing the other day - I think I need to order me a steak to increase the iron - I always find I crave sugar when I’m iron deprived. 

When people ask me what I’m doing, I like to tell them I’m drinking a couple of dirty martinis and about to go out dancing.  I texted messaged my trainer and asked if we could start training Monday - just KIDDING - I can’t even drive to Delaware, OH to pick up a festive holiday wreath without feeling I need some Motrin for the incisions in my tummy. 
Yet, as I watch her sleep, or listen to her hiccup tonight as I write this, or forget I’m pumping for the 5th time today, or print out her pictures for the birth announcements, I can’t imagine being in any other place than right by her side, or holding her, or just simply being in awe of my little daughter.  I’m so ever thankful, and yes, it’s truly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, I’m convinced of that already - and I’m only in week three. 
The other night I caught an episode of Lipstick Jungle with three 30-40 somethings all very career driven in NYC.  I know some women that are just like them, and families have received an expensive toll as a result of those fancy careers.  I could really identify with the one character who chooses to go through fertility treatments since she’s young 40-something, and as of yet, no children and no prospects yet of a lifetime partner.  So, she chooses to freeze her eggs, so she has options later.  She takes fertility drugs, has some hot flashes, eventually passes out, and gets some attention from one of the guys at the office, who in turn takes care of her for an evening.  There was a moment where she said, I’d never thought I’d be looking at doing this alone.  This is so true - neither did I.  But here I am, and I’m glad to be where I’m at in life.  Single mom by choice - by fate - by whatever - tonight - I am here with a child forever in my midst - and that is worth celebrating.
Having said all this, please know that I can squeeze maybe one call in a day for about 20 minutes in between breastfeeding, pumping, and taking care of things.  Please understand if I can’t return your calls right now, but I appreciate all of your calls and messages and undying support right now.  Second, this week, while it’s only week three of maternity leave, I’m agreeing to be in communication with clients by email on an urgent or strong as-needed basis.  Second, that leaves me in a deficit of time every day.   And since I only have about 20 free minutes per day during working hours, that means I’m unlikely to be able to talk to much of anyone for the next 20 years.  ha ha - just making sure you read this far….. ;-)

One Response to “Breastfeeding - Pumping Schedule Seems To Be Working”

  1. susan shepherd says:
    December 15th, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    Laura! She’s absolutely beautiful. I do remember those long nights and days of nursing. The sheer exhaustion. And while I did have Ian’s help, he quickly moved out of the bedroom to the guest room downstairs to get sleep for work. It’s always a one-woman show in the beginning. And then throw other kids (who need mommy, never Daddy) into the mix - forget about it… Something I don’t think a man could handle quite frankly. My hat is off to you - taking this on by yourself. But if anyone can do it it’s you. I’m in awe of your strength.

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