31st December 2008

2008: A Transformational Year

The year in review- as we look back each year, are the moments good or bad that we are ready to write off?  I hope for you, despite the economy, that we have both good and bad - so we have the ability to appreciate what we have, and the ability to hope looking forward in 2009.

In the past 12 months, including December of 2007, I’ve been to the ends of the earth (Antarctica) passing through the infamous Drake Passage via ship;

I’ve taught one of my most challenging search marketing analytics classes yet at Ohio State University dealing with a very difficult student situation who did something rather unethical and yet was able to get away with it;

Endured a difficult but successful fertility drug protocol in the Spring, giving myself shots in the tummy and legs multiple times per day for about three weeks;

Endured IVF, where my eggs were extracted, fertilized, and placed back in me in March 2008; becoming pregnant with twins; lost the first twin;

Persisted through the remaining eight months of pregnancy with baby girl;

and five weeks ago; officially became a Mom - to baby girl Melina

Officially fulfilling a dream of mine - that started on New Year’s Eve in 2004 - when I began looking into adoption and learned I could have a child of my own, through a reputable ID consent donor program.

My 2008-09 New Year’s Eve is spent with a tiny baby child suckling while I blog this post.  I am admittedly looking forward to midnight because my girl might fall asleep and I might get to clean my house - an hour of freedom - only for the house to look like a disaster my mid-day tomorrow.  Sure enough it is 11:52 p.m. and for the moment, she sleeps in my pillow at the keyboard here. 

Melina December 2008 by Blogging Mom
Melina on an earlier photo night

Twitter & Facebook became my professional and personal connectivity; followed by text messaging  to colleagues and friends - who knew that these three tools would become my lifeline

Should I admit I voted for the next President, despite loving the controversial ripped apart Sarah Palin?  I believe in the possibilities for Barack Obama, despite my Republican ties.  I just didn’t think that McCain could rally the forces as Obama already has.  My brother can now have me “deported” or exported as he said.

I took such a professional risk and have for the first time in eight years not spoken at one public event, other than teaching at Ohio State, which is horribly tied to less revenue for the company and myself.

My days are filled with beautiful baby moments alongside diapers, a blazing diaper rash, a baby’s first cold that has lasted since Friday the day after Christmas.  Each day since has been filled with more projectile and volumnous spit-up, numerous disappearing burp cloths and wash cloths.  I shutter to think how close I am to harvesting something unknown here as a sick baby might have 8-10 dirty diapers, washcloths for each, breastfeeding supplemented by bottle feeding, and cleaning all of it - and wondering how clean things are or aren’t.  My hands feel raw sometimes by the amount of cleaning, and yet I’m sure there is no way that my hands are 100% clean all the time.  As soon as she or I am clean, there is new material to work with.  I might not shake your hand the next time I see you.  ;-)

I have only one child and yet the laundry piles up, and surely I do one load per day.  A good day would be two loads of laundry. 

My house is so messy, and yet I clean it or a part of it every day, for 30 minutes.

I can smell myself sometimes - showering is something to be conquered in the beginning part of having a child at home.

The meaning of friendship has been redefined 100%.  I have reconnected with certain people on such a high level, with such extraordinary meaning and sacrifice.  There is a connection to moms, especially working moms, moreso than I could have ever envisioned.  Breastfeeding may become the new connection to women - who would have imagined such a thing?

In this regard, a sense of belonging greater than ever before, to my extended family.

Family has contributed in different ways.

Appreciation for my Mom, a relationship that has at times been extraordinarily challenged, has skyrocketed overnight. 

Appreciation for health has exponentially grown in a matter of hours as Melina began her journey at the hospital Thanksgiving week.

Redefinition of one’s life and its meaning - and purpose - and how it’s so no longer “all about me” - has become the beginning of my journey from this point forward.

2009 - may God bless Melina’s health, and mine for that matter, as her single by choice mom

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