28th February 2008

Now Cody - Death Watch - It’s Lung Cancer and It’s Bad

It is 2:30 in the morning.  I sit here with dreary eyes on the couch, surrounded by Misha and Monroe, Lucky and Cody.  It’s been less than a month that I put my 17-year old cat Max down. 

Cody & Monroe in 2004
Cody (chow dog), and her rescued kitty cat Monroe in 2004 (better days)

About a week ago, Cody’s cough got worse - see blog posts on her from June 2007 and beyond.  She’s been very sick off and on - and no, absolutely no diagnosis of what was wrong, despite invasive exploratory surgery at MedVet, xrays and exams at Ohio State University Vet Hospital, xrays, xrays and xrays at VCA vet hospitals - a discovery of a fist-sized lump that I could feel on her chest - no - it was benign they said.  Now, tonight, just about 7 hours ago - they say that she has a massive cancerous tumor on her lungs, and then hundreds of bb-sized tumors spread throughout her lungs - she can’t get much air into her body so she gasps for air, coughs, and yes, as of the past 24 hours is even spitting up some blood.

I’m supposed to leave in a few short hours for New York to defend an account to a magazine I love.  I’m 90% likely to lose it because of lack of implementation due to other site initiatives taking place and getting front-burner status, understandably so.  But of course I want to fight for it - it’s significant revenue for my company.  And yet, my dog, as I write is fighting for mere air and her last few moments of life.

 How cruel - she’s never done harm to anyone - 13 years - and yet has been loyal to me, protective, loving, sensitive, protective, did I say protective?  She’s a chow-mix.  She’s protected her food for years, not to mention a few toys.  She’s in fact stolen a few toys.  I’ll never forget the time that we visited a dog friend whose parents were out of town.  Cody ran down the stairs with this huge stuffed hedgehog in her mouth and out the door in to the courtyard.  It got to be where I’d have to watch what she had in her mouth when we’d leave a friend’s house.  Cody would steal any stuffed animal she preferred if we’d let her - then she’d run outside and look for a place to bury it. 

I will miss  Cody terribly - she’s lived in my office, my home, walked beside me, taken drives upon drives across the country, waited patiently for me, put up with me when she began to slow down, put up with Lucky, the new dog, and yet just wanted some last few peaceful moments with her cat, Monroe, and her owner, me.

The past month has been so difficult, so painful.  I actually wonder where the stars and planets are aligned - because why are things so incredibly bad right now?

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