Search



LT's Profile

Laura Thieme

Bizresearch President – 10 years - 2007

Fisher College of Business Lecturer on Search Marketing

OSU Russian Studies Grad – 1993

Subscribe Subscribe to Global Warming, Environmental Awareness, Effects of Global Warming: LauraThieme.com

Categories
Pages
Archives
Blogroll

2nd February 2008

I Miss Max Tonight

I went to Schoedingers at 11 a.m. this morning to witness the crematorium of my sweet little Maxim.  If you think I’m crazy, I’ll share with you the reasons I did it at the bottom of this entry.  They were very respectful at the crematorium.   I was able to watch them as they clipped his hair for me, and took his pawprint.  Max still looked so peaceful.  I didn’t cry that much, just a few tears as I think I’m about cried out by now.  They explained the process and I chose to push the button.

I came back at 3:30 to pick him up in the urn.  I picked out a square wooden urn with a photo of Max in front.  I had an appointment at Easton and knew I’d have to keep Max in the car for three hours or so.  Max never liked the car as he got older, and noticeably became very very sick whenever we had to go to the vet.  I hoped he would forgive me.  Otherwise, I felt very peaceful with the entire process and believed I had given Max everything that I possibly could in both death and life. 

But now I’m home, and I really miss him tonight.  I go into the kitchen with little purpose now.  There is no cat getting in my way in the kitchen, waiting for three or four cans of food to be wasted on him in order to try to get him to eat.  It became an increasing struggle to figure out what Max wanted to eat.  We’d start out with Wellness Food, then home baked chicken, then roasted turkey from Whole Foods, then tuna fish, then a sip of milk - anything to get him to eat.  I’d open so much food in the process, that by the time we figured out what Max wanted to eat, my kitchen and fridge began to look like a crazy cat lady’s dwelling.  I talked with my vet and my pet sitter about it - and they said it was just really important to get him to eat since he’s hyperthyroid.  So, two years of this stuff, and I feel a void of being the caregiver to an ailing cat.  I feel like there is nothing to do.


Max on January 31, 2008

I’ve also noticed that the water and litter boxes don’t need re-filling as often.  I never knew which cat was drinking so much water, but it was apparently Max.  I thought all along it was Misha but it was clearly Max drinking loads of water.  Who knows how much pain he was really in?

Misha and Monroe on the other hand - they just need dry food in the dish with some occasional wet food to taste.  Misha needs the faucet running and chases me wherever I go - he’s got pancreatitis and so gets dehydrated a lot.  But he’s been hanging in there for quite some time now - a year since he was officially diagnosed with it.  What happens when Misha is gone and I don’t have a cat chasing the water in the sink?  Those things that typically challenge you at times - you end of missing them terribly when they’re gone. 

Misha is being relatively antisocial since Max passed Thursday.  He pretty  much wants to stay in that room and not leave it other than to drink, eat and use the bathroom.  But I’ve seen him run upstairs with greater energy than in quite some time.  I’ve noticed the same with Cody - more energy than in quite some time.  In fact, she’s almost running on her walks the last couple of days.  I’ve gotten a bit of kick about that - because I’ve wondered if she’s saying - “Better not put me down like that - really, I’m fine, I’m fine.”

Lucky - well she got pretty sick overnight but seems to be fine tonight.

But Max - even though his after-life physical presence is back here tonight in his wooden urn - he’s sorely missed in the real form .  Here’s an old photo from 2003 or 2004 when Max was in perfect health, and had quite the healthy belly which loved to be rubbed.  It’s pretty amazing that he was so healthy just four years ago at the age of 13.


Max in the good days - likely Summer 2004 - this is when food served its purpose

PS: I chose to cremate and witness his cremation due to two events - I handed over Martha, the first orange and white tabby cat I ever had, 17 years ago to a vet to have Martha put down.  I never forgot the look on Martha’s face as the vet took her away.  That exact same vet (Alexia Wilde) was later investigated for euthanizing cats and not putting them down all the way along with several other animal abuse charges.  Several cats were found on the garbage heap not completely dead - it was horrible - she lost her vet license.  I wondered about Martha and how she might have been treated in her final moments.  Thus the reason for committing to never hand over the cat again.  Second, I once read an article about animals and people’s bones not being “respected” in the crematorium - that they could get mixed up, or worse yet, the bones could be sold for a fee.  Thus the reason for what I did.  I wanted to be sure I witnessed Max from the moment he passed from the physical world, into the spiritual world and to ensure his body was respected every inch of the way.  I am very glad I did what I did.

Leave a Reply

To reply to this article, please enter your name and write your comment in the textbox below. Some HTML tags are allowed, but others will be stripped if you enter them in your comments.

More from Laura Thieme: