A Breastfeeding Mum’s Schedule

In order to breastfeed my baby more, due to lack of caloric intake and inadequate weight gain, I’ve been put on a new schedule.  Here’s what it looks like:

Summary -

Breastfeed every 2-3 hours, 24/7

Each feeding should last 40 minutes (20 minutes on each breast); and pumping additional 7 minutes immediately thereafter

Upon finishing every second feeding, offer additional 1 oz pumped breastmilk to daughter; she should be getting about an ounce every feeding; is it every second feeding, or just the second feeding of the day - hmm, need for clarification.

Start with the breast where you have most troubles, for me, it’s the right as I’m right-handed and this is quite common - we tend to feed on the opposite side where we’re comfortable holding her, etc.  I’m far more comfortable feeding her on the left side, the opposite side of my right hand, as I’m right-handed.  I hold her with my right hand, which feels natural. 

Nighttime feeding - prolactin production increases at night, which explains the leaky faucet increasing to “on” flow at night and the fact that baby wants more frequent feedings at night, ironically, when I’m most tired

Daytime feeding - wake sleeping baby, and don’t let her fall asleept at the wheel, or breast in this case - yeah - this is harder than it sounds but is related to vicious cycle of not feeding enough, calorie deprivation, hormone changes, having days and nights mixed up, etc.

Wear a plastic sombero over your boob to get baby to do better latch - just a transitional thing - sure, just 24 hours to retrain her bad habits - she doesn’t put tongue to the bottom of mouth - gets lazy from bottle feeding off of higher flow nipples (need newborn nipples, not just slow nipple flow)

Get Avent bottles - forget why - other than I like them anyway, but only have one - getting to store often isn’t easy anymore - will deal with that problem separately

What’s this look like, in reality:


Baby girl wide awake

6 p.m. feeding - start with baby on right, pull out plastic sombrero, try to affix sombrero to nipple while holding baby who’s becoming increasing annoyed, put baby on pillow, try football hold, realize you’re actually extremely hot, put up window, turn fan on, try again - sombrero comes off, forget sombrero, try nipple feeding au natural - sure enough - baby falls asleep - maneuvers lactation consultant showed me - yes, they just went out the window when I let the fresh air in

Switch to left side - baby is about as responsive here with sombrero hat on - wasn’t having many problems on this side - switch to au natural - baby is annoyed and/or sleeping

6:10 p.m. - if that, knowing I’m supposed to have done this for 20/20; and then go to pumping; baby doesn’t have milk supply; cranky, go to fridge, get pumped milk from earlier session out - give to her, before pumping, completely throwing out all instructions from lactation consultant

somehow it is now 7 p.m. all of a sudden - wash pump supplies, stub left foot toe that was “numb” since childbirth of new baby girl, which is apparently not numb because I can feel it, silent scream OUCH inside, rush to setup attachments and get breastmilk pumped before baby goes nuts, cave to crying - feed what milk has been pumped, along with bit from earlier

7:30 - wonder how long it’ll take me to cave to pumping exclusively - this is so much easier, forgetting all the plastic attachments, sterilization, supplies, etc that you need -

Breastfeeding mum wonders where she stashed that whisky bottle?

Just kidding, just kidding - but thinks about it, and wishes she had a thing for whiskey or something that would take away frustration, instead opts for Toll House Sugar Cookie dough, premade, with cherry icing, straight from fridge in raw state - again, another bad mommy sign- in breastfeeding state

8 p.m. Baby is happily staring at wall in crib - not needing pacifier or anything - has kicked off socks at least 5 times in past two hours - sneezing, making mom wonder why she’s sneezing so much - is she catching cold - no, pediatrician says she can’t catch cold from drafty window - which mom has remembered to lower a while ago, don’t worry.


Baby girl staring off into space

It’s 8 p.m. - do you realize, that it’s about time to feed her again - and go through all of this routine all over again?  So, if you are visiting me in the next few weeks, please understand why I stink, or why I’ve seemingly lost all my baby weight gain in just a matter of a few weeks, it’s because i haven’t had time to eat or take a shower.  Shoot, I have to eat, or baby doesn’t get food for breastmilk production - okay, so I will give up taking a shower then.  She and I will look like we live in the jungle - if I start seeing stray dogs show up again on my doorstep, I’ll know it’s time to shower.

If you show up on my doorstep, please do not come empty-handed.  Please bring a nice fresh salad, fruit, protein, and a large glass of ice water. 

The only concern I have is that plastic sombrero thingie and having enough hands to do all this correctly.  Perhaps I should just have the lactation consultant live here for a few days, that would help.

9 to 10 p.m. - began to start process over again - for one hour, tried until Melina would just not cooperate, put her down, she cried for a while, but was otherwise quite content in Mommy’s presence or arms

10:45 p.m. - in order to ensure caloric intake, since breastfeeding was not successful since lactation consultant was here - that damn sombrero - mixed 20 cc breastmilk along with 1 oz formula and fed it to Melina - she drank it up no problem

11:30 p.m. - tried to put Melina to sleep - as of yet, she’s wide awake - lactation consultant wants me to switch pacifiers too - not going over too well right now

2 a.m. or somewhere in that time frame - Melina awakes, ready to feed, breastfed without sombrero hat attachment, no problem on left; not so much luck on right; exhaustion makes feeding difficult at this stage; unable to pump anything of value; feed formula plus little bit of milk; rock Melina - am up for an hour easily

4:45 a.m. - Melina awakes, ready to feed, unable to pump, realize might be dehydrated, eat cereal and banana, and drink tall glass of orange juice, try pumping again at 5:15 to see if it helps production; it does - produce 50 ccs within no time at all on one side. 

7:30 a.m. - Melina awakes, ready to feed, able to pump 2 oz. and feed her this

9:30 a.m. - Melina awakes, ready to feed, able to pump 2 oz. and feed her this

1:00 p.m. - Melina still asleep, able to pump 2 oz. and feed her, and stockpile

4:00 p.m. - a little breastfeeding time

5:00 - fed her stockpile; prepared to pump again, 2 oz, able to stockpile; am ahead one feeding - it took an entire day to get ahead one feeding

6:30 p.m. - eyeing the clock again, should I try to rest now, or will she wake up as soon as I try to sleep, as she always seems to do?

In conclusion, after one full day of correct pumping intervals, and not succeeding with 20 minute good latch-on feeding times on both breasts, I’m about ready to switch to pumping as the main course of action, and supplemental feeding time.  It’s still a lot of work, but easier for someone who has to eventually return to work.

Lactation Consultant’s Likely Grade for My Breastfeeding Attempts: D-

 Okay, tomorrow is another day.  I’ll give it five (maybe less) days, and then I’m going exclusively to pumping.

For all of you working moms that got breastfeeding to work, God love ya!  Your children will probably never thank you - but we salute you.  By the time our children are having kids themselves, and breastfeeding, surely they will have invented a mommy dairy machine that you just plug and play for the breastfeeding idiots and novices of the world, such as me.