Pregnant with Twins!
Hello everyone. I have waited nearly seven weeks to write this blog post - kinda needed to tell Mom first before I went public on the blog with pregnancy confirmation - if you know what I mean - but am happy to report that the invitro worked and I’m pregnant with twins.
I had planned to tell Mom on Mother’s Day in a card, but she wrote the other night, so I let her know then. She hasn’t written back, which is what I suspected she would do, so I’ve decided to write about it and share the updates with those of you I know are reading this blog. My parents, especially Mom, is kinda funny about the invitro thing - thinks it’s messing with God’s plan - so I’ll leave her to think it out. I asked for only positive energy right now, as negative thoughts aren’t going to help babies or me right now.
I’m sitting here on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, feeling guilty because I’ve slept the day away literally - and the sun came out while I was sleeping. Tsk tsk. The only relief to feeling guilty that you sleep the first trimester and hang out a lot on the couch - is that you hear from every other woman that she did the same thing during her first trimester.
I knew I was pregnant by Easter Sunday - I reacted to olives and Gherkins pickles nestled in a plate rather oddly. I’ve noticed that since I’ve become pregnant that when I see food on a menu that apparently the “body” wants - my mouth goes into watering overdrive to the point I’m afraid it’ll drool right out - hee hee. My breasts began to hurt like hell, and I found sleep even more difficult than before due to the discomfort. A few other changes, which I blogged about, and I was good to go.
I received my first blood test 10 days after the invitro transfer of three embryos on March 21st. The docs were looking for a 50 HCG minimum - I had a 133. Then a 200 minimum two days later - HCG Levels should double every two days when you become pregnant - I had a 430-something. Then, I waited four days - I jumped to 4500 something. The lab lady indicated there was a chance of twins if I was quadroupling numbers each lab test.
The lab result came back pregnant on April 1st - like the symbolism? :-) They were going to tell me the next day, but I thought finding out your pregnant on April Fool’s Day was fitting, and quite liked the day in a crazy kinda way. The nurse left the voice mail ‘you are very pregnant’ and I was beaming from the news. I had to make it through my class at OSU, I was teaching that day, and had a guest speaker, but couldn’t get that silly ear-to-ear smile off my face. Finally, pregnant, after four years of a lot of work, surgeries, etc.
I began to notice a difference in my belly pretty quickly - which also made me hope for twins. I felt extreme exhaustion so badly after teaching at OSU or working out - that I literally could not function or talk after these two events twice a week. I would go home and sleep for three hours afterwards, completely disfunctional until after sleeping. This also made going back to sleep at 11 a little difficult - but one thing I refuse to do while pregnant on a frequent basis is work in the middle of the night when I wake up - instead I pray for the babies and a few other people and leave my body time to fall back asleep.
I saw the first ultrasound/sonogram (vag) about a week and a half ago. It was a mixed blessing. One of the twins is doing awesome, gorgeous, according to the doctor. The other baby, the twin, is not doing as well. He’s half the size, has a heartbeat, but you can tell it’s not as strong as the other. I walked out of the sonogram a bit depressed, afraid to celebrate as one baby was suffering. I had brought my camcorder so I was able to record it, instead of just having photos. I’m so glad I did that because I was able to obsess over it myself, that night, privately, and realized that the second baby was albeit smaller, but not worth giving up on so quickly. If I listened to every naysayer in the world, I wouldn’t be the person I am truly defined by today - which is always fighting for everything substantial in life (my business, going to Russia, running a marathon, sustaining and growing a substantial business, speaking around the world at major conferences, fighting for deals, going to Antarctica two weeks after a ship sunk (no injuries), or going through invitro). Nothing simple is done without a fight in my life - and as a result - I expect my babies to have some of that fighter DNA, right? The doc that did the invitro did not think my outcome would be positive - so how do you explain eight eggs, six embryos, three viable for transfer and two implantations? Positive thinking and a little or a lot of help from God, depending on what He decides on the outcome.
So I decided to wake up the next day, visualize twins, pray for them, and until the doctor tells me that the “twin” isn’t surviving, then we’re a happy threesome right now and fighting for healthy growth every day. I will do another ultrasound on Tuesday morning. I’ve talked to many twin parents as well as twins themselves - many say that the twin could draw on support from the other - something they call twin transfusion. There is a lot to learn about twins, as well as having babies in general. I’m scared but so excited about walking through this fertility journey, phase what, five, six, who knows?
There are also many negative stories in magazines, books, elsewhere - that I choose not to read about on the Web - or ask friends to not say anything negative about a bad story - because every single person I know seems to have one bad story about pregnancy. If you listen to the bad stuff - you can end up defining your outcome to some extent by anxiety - and a lack of strong wellbeing. Those little babies need all the positive energy they can get - sleep, exercise, protein, apples, juice, vitamins, more green veggies that you can imagine or want to eat, all that good stuff that makes a happy healthy baby.
At the end of the day, no matter how much we try to do the right thing, or do things traditional, or extreme, or slightly adventurous - at the end of the day - the outcome is a crapshoot. You can only plan so much in life. You can determine your fate in most cases in life, at least not for the good things in life. You can do everything right and something could turn badly. Yet, some can do what seems like much in life poorly, and yet they get by to some degree as well. So, all I can personally do is think positively, take care of myself, and cut unneeded or undesired stress in my life to a minimum - and go from there - who knows what the future holds for me, or my babies? I can only hope and dream - and that is a good thing to have as you go to sleep at night - a few dreams for someone besides yourself.