IVF - The First Hiccup

I’m already experiencing my first hiccup in IVF.  Keep in mind that this fertility  journey has waged on for a minimum of four years, when I began my first series of doctors visits where one thing after another occurred.  First, it was polyps on  my uterus where the embryo would implant and became a fetus, then it was a blocked tube, then it was fibroids, then surgery, and now, today, an ovarian cyst.

The latest in four years, no, really 20 years, of an adult fertility journey.  In the years in which I had the right to have a child, and the ability to have a child, I began to have problems - so early, so young, so innocent - and yet, so much pain at such a young life.  It was hardly protected even though others tried to protect me.  I had an ovarian cyst when I was 20 or 21 years old.  It was in January, or no, maybe May, what year, perhaps 1989 or 1990, I can’t remember.  I just remember the incident not the year or the specific time of year.  I was with J (name withheld).  I can vividly remember when the ovarian cyst ruptured - pure pain - pure hell - pain so extreme I didn’t know what to do.  I called 9-1-1 - I felt so sick - I took 800mg of Motrin.  My boyfriend, J, was there - he was helpless.  He didn’t know what to do either.  We were 21 or younger.  I vomited the Motrin right back up - and waited for the ambulance to arrive.

The paramedics arrived, and began to take me and the guerney down three levels of stairs - I was in extreme pain.  If you’ve ever had a cyst (the size of a grapefruit) and it ruptured - you know the extremity of this pain.  What made matters worse?  The idiots taking me down the flights of stairs had the nerve to nearly drop me, and then “tighten” the strap right around my lower abdomen - they tightened - I screamed bloody murder. 

Once at the hospital, I was told I had chlamydia.  I was shocked - I knew I had an ovarian cyst and that it had ruptured.  I did not have this condition they referenced.  I had been told there was a risk of it rupturing and to not move anything or do anything that could risk such a result.  I was guilty of both.  I “knew” I had ruptured this thing but the ER docs were determined to test me for everything that could cause pelvic pain, none of which, not one of which included a cyst.  That was probably too easy - they even catheritized me - amazing what can happen to a young woman who doesn’t know how to fight back - to ask questions - to refuse such a thing. 

Fast forward to this past month, when I began the IVF protocol after paying my $6k and $3901 for shots.  I’m not a fan of hyper-stimulation of any part of the body to produce something in greater quantity.  Considering I go to Whole Foods and lead a relatively organic lifestyle, try to buy foods without hormones or synethetic hormones, and lead a healthy lifestyle, it’s a bit off the beaten track to endorse something that enables me to hyperstimulate to overproduce to have.

I began Estradiol and Prometrium - they had a bit of a mixup - the information said something along the line of “take as directed” but there was no direction from either the doctor or the pharmacy.  So, I called, left two voice mails.  I had already taken Prometrium and Estradiol for three days before I learned that I was not supposed to be taking both simultaneously.  I was concerned but the nurse told me it was nothing to be worried about.  She switched my dosage and I began taking Estradiol in the  morning, and Prometrium (100) twice a day, AM and PM. 

 I ordered my heavy duty fertility drugs, took the class on how to administer them, and then began to prepare mentally for the next two weeks.  I took my first Lupron shot yesterday, Sunday, and it wasn’t so bad.  I figured two shots a day in the tummy - I can do that, right?  Considering if I get pregnant, I have to squeeze out a baby of 8 lbs or so, or deal with an incision the size that will enable that to come through my tummy - so the shot, relatively, is nothing.  The shots in the legs, well those are harder.  Larger shot, thicker guage.   But again, I can manage.

 What I can’t manage easily are the letdowns.  Today, I walk in, have an ultrasound, only to find out that I have an ovarian cyst and all bets are off, again.  I haven’t been informed by my doctor - he’s too busy - but I have been informed by an assistant, who’s not my IVF nurse.  Take another month of estradiol and prometrium - but is it possible that’s why my cyst grew to begin with?

Could the estradiol and prometrium cause what could have been a small cyst to grow and become a 39mm cyst?  So, the call came in this evening, in the middle of a teleconference which I cut short, that I’m off the protocol, already, before I even got started.  I’m all for divine intervention - St. Clare - what do you want of me?