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Laura Thieme

Bizresearch President – 11 years - 2008

Fisher College of Business Lecturer on Search Marketing

OSU Russian Studies Grad – 1993

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5th January 2009

Reading About How to Get Your Infant Newborn Baby To Sleep 2 replies

Melina is nearing six weeks now - and a few people continue to ask (or brag) as to why my newborn baby isn’t sleeping through the night, and how their baby did.  I’ve written about sleep a fair amount, but I always seek new information on this topic as I continue to struggle with Melina definitely NOT sleeping through the night.

A little note on this - there are 444,000 search results in Google for “getting your  baby to sleep through the night” -

So, why doesn’t and what can I do to get Melina to sleep through the night?  I’m reading “Modern Girl’s Guide to Motherhood” and loving it.  It gave me lots of reasons as to why Melina is not supposed to or likely to sleep through the night at this age.

What am I doing that could keep her awake longer in between feedings, at night?

More soon, I have to go to her

One other thing - many people suggest the co-sleeper; here’s what I’ve noted thus far; and how I feel about the co-sleeper

Resources on how to get your infant newborn baby to sleep - what as a parent you need to know

Dr. Sears on Getting Baby to Sleep

Excerpt from Dr. Sears - thank you!

NIGHTTIME PARENTING LESSON #3:

Encouraging a baby to sleep too deeply, too soon, may not be in the best survival or developmental interest of the baby. This is why new parents, vulnerable to sleep trainers’ claims of getting their baby to sleep through the night, should not feel pressured to get their baby to sleep too long, too deeply, too soon.

2nd January 2009

Losing Weight After Having Your Baby - How Long Should It Take 2 replies

Tuesday I went to my OB-GYN for my 6-week check-up, one week early.  It was cool to walk into this doctor’s office, where I have gone for 17 years and be “one of the moms” coming in with a tiny infant.  I saw other pregnant women coming in for their check-ups, with two to three children in tow.  The men were there with the women as well - in fact, you’d think that it was “family week” at the OB’s office.  Obviously the holiday week where families do more together including going to the OB’s office for Mommy’s checkup. 

I walked in with Melina in her carrier, quiet despite her grunting sounds.  I think she sounds worse today than she’s sounded yet.  It must be obvious that I’m new Mom, because I was admittedly enchanted with her little self, and feeling extra concern for her as she’s sick.  Some of the women asked how old, or came up and stared at her and said how beautiful she is.  Lots of congratulations - the good etiquette of many.

It was my turn to step on the scale today - Melina weighed in yesterday.  I gained 45 lbs during my pregnancy and invitro protocol - which put me over an Oprah barrier (you know the number if you’ve tuned in to any tabloid show).  This number is obscene when you cross it - so I just told the nurse she better keep going with that scale.  I was happy to see that she had to back it off to the 150 marker, and add from there.  I have lost 21 lbs in 5 weeks - and while I’m not sure if that’s normal for c-section since you’re not up and doing as much “exercise” as quickly, relatively, other than taking care of baby - I was happy to see this number. 


I’ll need a lot more than this bouncy ball to get my postpartum butt in shape
Source

I told my OB that just last week I got out and walked twice, slowly but surely.  He advised me to become deliberate with my walking schedule, taking Melina with me, to the fitness center to get on the treadmill if weather outside (Ohio winter weather) was poor.  Of course, since Melina is sick right now, not a good time to be hitting the treadmill or taking a walk outside.  But within a couple of days, hoping she’s getting better by then, we will  perhaps be able to go do 20 minutes of walking on the treadmill.

Having said that, I have never been so active in the confinement of my own home since I’ve lived here.  I am up on my feet for likely 95 percent of the day that passes - night and day for that matter.  I sleep less than I am on my feet - I never get to slumber - the only time I stretch is when I finally drag my sorry self into bed - foot pain, joint pain, back pain, neck pain - all part of the territory for Mommy here.  I’ve heard that moms have great arms because of all the lifting they do of their children - I’m beginning to believe it as Melina is now over 8 lbs, and there’s a lot of holding in one hand, and doing talented things with your other hand.  We should evolve with a third hand in the future. 


I look just like this - flat tummy, big boobs and great butt -
no sign of postpartum weight in this sculpture - ;-)
Source

But, despite exhaustion, despite aches and pains, I imagine breast feeding along with the lack of ability to get a good meal in, has something to do with the 21 lbs in 5 weeks.  Now, it’s up to me to get walking into my schedule - ugh - when????  I wonder if I should give up the shower, eating, or sleeping to get my walk in - it’ll be much easier when the weather is nicer - I can take her in the stroller on a frequent basis and look forward to those days.

In the meantime, where’s the extra-strength Motrin?  I’ve got 1.5 hours before her next feeding.

31st December 2008

2008: A Transformational Year

The year in review- as we look back each year, are the moments good or bad that we are ready to write off?  I hope for you, despite the economy, that we have both good and bad - so we have the ability to appreciate what we have, and the ability to hope looking forward in 2009.

In the past 12 months, including December of 2007, I’ve been to the ends of the earth (Antarctica) passing through the infamous Drake Passage via ship;

I’ve taught one of my most challenging search marketing analytics classes yet at Ohio State University dealing with a very difficult student situation who did something rather unethical and yet was able to get away with it;

Endured a difficult but successful fertility drug protocol in the Spring, giving myself shots in the tummy and legs multiple times per day for about three weeks;

Endured IVF, where my eggs were extracted, fertilized, and placed back in me in March 2008; becoming pregnant with twins; lost the first twin;

Persisted through the remaining eight months of pregnancy with baby girl;

and five weeks ago; officially became a Mom - to baby girl Melina

Officially fulfilling a dream of mine - that started on New Year’s Eve in 2004 - when I began looking into adoption and learned I could have a child of my own, through a reputable ID consent donor program.

My 2008-09 New Year’s Eve is spent with a tiny baby child suckling while I blog this post.  I am admittedly looking forward to midnight because my girl might fall asleep and I might get to clean my house - an hour of freedom - only for the house to look like a disaster my mid-day tomorrow.  Sure enough it is 11:52 p.m. and for the moment, she sleeps in my pillow at the keyboard here. 

Melina December 2008 by Blogging Mom
Melina on an earlier photo night

Twitter & Facebook became my professional and personal connectivity; followed by text messaging  to colleagues and friends - who knew that these three tools would become my lifeline

Should I admit I voted for the next President, despite loving the controversial ripped apart Sarah Palin?  I believe in the possibilities for Barack Obama, despite my Republican ties.  I just didn’t think that McCain could rally the forces as Obama already has.  My brother can now have me “deported” or exported as he said.

I took such a professional risk and have for the first time in eight years not spoken at one public event, other than teaching at Ohio State, which is horribly tied to less revenue for the company and myself.

My days are filled with beautiful baby moments alongside diapers, a blazing diaper rash, a baby’s first cold that has lasted since Friday the day after Christmas.  Each day since has been filled with more projectile and volumnous spit-up, numerous disappearing burp cloths and wash cloths.  I shutter to think how close I am to harvesting something unknown here as a sick baby might have 8-10 dirty diapers, washcloths for each, breastfeeding supplemented by bottle feeding, and cleaning all of it - and wondering how clean things are or aren’t.  My hands feel raw sometimes by the amount of cleaning, and yet I’m sure there is no way that my hands are 100% clean all the time.  As soon as she or I am clean, there is new material to work with.  I might not shake your hand the next time I see you.  ;-)

I have only one child and yet the laundry piles up, and surely I do one load per day.  A good day would be two loads of laundry. 

My house is so messy, and yet I clean it or a part of it every day, for 30 minutes.

I can smell myself sometimes - showering is something to be conquered in the beginning part of having a child at home.

The meaning of friendship has been redefined 100%.  I have reconnected with certain people on such a high level, with such extraordinary meaning and sacrifice.  There is a connection to moms, especially working moms, moreso than I could have ever envisioned.  Breastfeeding may become the new connection to women - who would have imagined such a thing?

In this regard, a sense of belonging greater than ever before, to my extended family.

Family has contributed in different ways.

Appreciation for my Mom, a relationship that has at times been extraordinarily challenged, has skyrocketed overnight. 

Appreciation for health has exponentially grown in a matter of hours as Melina began her journey at the hospital Thanksgiving week.

Redefinition of one’s life and its meaning - and purpose - and how it’s so no longer “all about me” - has become the beginning of my journey from this point forward.

2009 - may God bless Melina’s health, and mine for that matter, as her single by choice mom

The Cost of Having a Baby 1 reply

Numbers are coming in - in terms of the cost of having a baby.  So far, I’m looking at about $16k in bills from OhioHealth.  Tune in the next couple of days, for an update on those costs, and what insurance will pay for. 

29th December 2008

Dr Diagnosis - Baby Melina Has Her First Cold

Typing one-handed - Miss M has her first cold.  Now I’m feeling it - sore throat and achy joints.  Hopefully hot tea and sleep will help us both. 

 The good news -M is 8.04 lbs and 21 inches -her arriving home weight was 6 lbs 1oz and 19 inches!

All for now - shortest blog post ever.

Taking Care of Fussy, Unhappy Newborn Infant 2 replies

It’s amazing how your entire day will pass you by when you have a sick newborn, or sick child.  A friend of mine called and told me to eat - and I thought, “When?”  When your baby is sick, you are in 100% monitoring, consoling, trying to alleviate and/or investigate this discomfort - and it’s a little like total chaos in the beginning.  It’s been two days now, and I think, I think she might be turning a corner.  I go to the doc tomorrow morning for a regular 5-week checkup with lots of questions. 

This evening, every part of my being hurt - and I wondered if I was coming down with something.  Determined to sleep tonight as she calmed down, and seemingly cooled off - I thought maybe we could go to sleep early.  I cat-napped - but she did not. 

I think I might have figured something out - so, she seems happier to sleep in the carseat in her crib - but she also seems to get hot and perhaps even trouble breathing - but that could be related to the low grade fever too - or she just started to feel better tonight and had less issues.

 But today, we struggled with complete upchucking of the milk, regardless of whether it was mine or formula.  I learned a new look on her face and movement when she’s about to do this - Then, a rash around her right ear.  Not a horrible rash, but seems to be a growing rash.  It could be heat-related, maybe, from being in the car seat. 

One thing is for sure when Melina is not happy, when she doesn’t feel good - there is an amazing amount of learning going on here to understand her signs, and try to console her.

Some people say don’t hold her too much - but I can’t think of anything else I should do when a sick baby doesn’t feel well - if she wants consoling, then I’m going to do that for her.

In her case, it was increased milk, but if her thirst is up, that’s okay with me.  I have felt extraordinarily thirsty as well and have chugged ice water all day long, as if I couldn’t get happy either.  I wondered if we were fighting the same bug, or viral infection?

All I can say is if she caught a virus, I’m amazed at how she could.  We’ve been cocooned here, with only one visitor actually touching or holding her, for the past couple of weeks.  We did take a walk, twice, but they say you can’t get a cold from this. 

Regardless, please understand if I say you can’t hold the baby, or if you can’t come over for now - it’s obvious I need to limit her activity and find out what’s wrong first before coming in contact with others.  

When she is sick, after visitors are long-gone, I’m the one that is trying to figure out what’s wrong, and dealing with a very uncomfortable infant - there is nothing worse than that - and I’m going to be a lot harder about not touching her.  I hate to offend people, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do for the health of Melina, not to mention Mommy.

It made me realize tonight, after feeling such joint and muscle pain in every corridor of my body, that I’m not going to be any good to Melina if I’m sick.  So, lots of fluids, calcium charging and protein charging foods -

I think she’s settled down now - I can sneak back into her room and go to sleep.  She’s back in that carseat - though - and has fallen asleep.  Now, it’s just the challenge of keeping her cool.  Her room seems to radiate the warmth that the rest of the house does not - and despite fan and humidifier, sometimes that room seems warm - or is it just me? 

Okay - let’s hope she’s better in the morning.

28th December 2008

Whew - First Fever Hot to the Touch Baby Moment

Wow.  Holy cannolis or cammolis like I typically say.  Melina has her first fever, or her first infection of some kind.  I wonder if someone were to measure endorphins on a day like today what the number would be for first-time mom with an inconsolable 5 week old baby trying to get a fever down, cooled to the touch, and satisfied. 

Melina has just a low grade fever of 99.7, which is not really a fever for an infant (greater than 101 typically) but what was so concerning is that she was rather hot to the touch, increasingly so as the day went on.  And, she could not be consoled whatsoever today. 

Her ears seemed to bother her a bit or she was just coincidentally touching them more?

Diarrhea moreso than normal breastfeeding stuff

Could not seem to get enough milk today - didn’t want anything but breastmilk until tonight

Crying beyond belief without stopping

Unable to be consoled - or left for very long, with exception of one nap

=============

The past 12 hours I was not able to satisfy her milk requirements.  It’s possible she was using them to pacify, as opposed to eat.  She spit up this morning twice a large amount of breast milk.  And you could tell, she did not feel well.  She did not want me to leave her for a second, or put her down.  She’s started to stretch her arms up to be picked up - and she didn’t want to just be held, she wanted to be on the breast. 

Tonight, around 8 or so, she woke up from a 3 hour nap with diarrhea so bad it went right up the diaper to her chest (she was sitting in the car seat).  She was hot to the touch - her skin was red- her feet looked and felt like they were on fire.  After I cleaned her up, I carried her tiny self upstairs to take a “rectal, yes rectal” temp as my doc says they’ll need a rectal for the most accurate temp.  It climbed very quickly to 99.7 and so we went into the tub and cooled down.  I wasn’t sure who was radiating more heat - her or me.  Throughout this all, she was understandably screaming bloody murder - oh my poor girl.  I pulled out that great book Elaine gave me, “what to expect in the first year” and flipped to the part about fever and heat illness (in the event she had overheated in the house, or being layered up too much).  I learned that the fever of 99.7 was pretty normal for a rectal temp and that infant temps rise throughout the day, surprisingly enough.

I of course called the doc’s office and they called me right back - thank you for that.   So how can a temp be not far from normal but the baby be so incredibly hot to the touch, not to mention she had clearly not felt well throughout the day, and now she really felt bad.  So, doc said to watch her for 24 hours, see if temp gets better, and give her half a dropperful of infant tylenol, which I did. 

Despite doing that, when I took her downstairs tonight after giving her the bath, putting her in just a diaper and a very light receiving blanket, she still did not want to be anywhere but on my breast.  I didn’t have much milk left - so I frantically (as she was wailing) prepared formula, being a bit nervous as I wondered if the Sensitive Stomach Similac had contributed to her gas pains, and now fever?  I had just started giving her that since she was tucking her legs a lot, and seemingly in discomfort.  Yesterday she didn’t poop all day - today, she had a different outcome. 

Anyway, after 40 minutes of breastfeeding and 4 oz of Similac Advanced powdered formula, Melina actually completely calmed down - she slept around 10 p.m. or so - and it’s 1 :30 - so I’ve carried the car seat right upstairs to her room and put that in the crib - as to not to disturb her.  But, it seems she is still warm to the touch. 

Don’t they say “feed a fever, starve a cold?”  And isn’t it amazing that a tenth of a degree temp change could make her so hot to the touch, and so incredibly agitated? 

I also wondered if what I had eaten in the past 2 days had any affect (crab dip with garlic), or the rumballs (hmmm), or was something else going on with my supply?  Or, was it her Similac Sensitive Tummy?  Or, was she just hot? 

My back hurts, my feet hurt, my boobs hurt - but around midnight I finally ate my first sorta kinda meal (other than pnut butter sandwich earlier today) -

I can’t believe the level of stress that occurs when your baby gets sick and you don’t know what to do - other than the things I did - to console her, make her feel okay.  Once we’d get past a crucial peak, then she’s resume to normal almost.  Wierd. 

I hope to get a sorta night’s sleep - I’m not waking her for her feeding - if she wants to sleep that’s okay, right?

Deep breathing here - lots of ice water tonight - and three motrin for pain.

27th December 2008

Breastfeeding Is Like Running a Marathon 1 reply

In case you’re wondering, for those who read my blog who are not moms, or forgot what it was like, or fed their babies formula (I was formula fed Similac 40 years ago, and have learned many were formula fed back then) - how much time does it take to feed your baby, and whether or not your baby can go all night:

Breastfed babies eat every 2 hours or so - and in fact, they will eat more often than formula-fed babies.  Don’t take my word for it, the popular “What to Expect in the First Year” book that many new moms have - I got it from a client of mine - tells you that formula fed babies eat every 3-4 hours, around the clock, less so than breastfed babies.  You will also have more diaper changes if you have breastfed babies.  So if you breastfeed, you feed for an hour, you break for an hour, and then it may be time to feed her again.  An hour on, an hour off - that’s your new life.  Since my Dad was nice enough to ask my sister-in-law lots of breastfeeding questions during his recent visit to Massachussetts, perhaps I can direct him to this book for additional information.  ;-)  Thanks Dad for your concern.  The first two chapters talk about this routine.

Breastfeeding is really tough - but “best for baby”.  I’m not unlike most breastfeeding moms - they are going through the exact same thing I am.  You’ll have 8-12 feedings a day, if you breastfeed.  That’s a lot of time on the boob. 

Lactation consultants suggest 20 minutes per breast for each feeding, or one hour if you’re lucky, and she feeds consistently without cat naps or breaks.  After that or before as I prefer, you need to change their diaper, which wakes them up, and then begin to console them with food, then have time for burping.  You can not put them right back down after you feed, or that sweet milk will come right back up.  Imagine if you have eight feedings, that’s about 5-6 hours of a child being attached to your breast.  Add diaper changes, burping time - you can easily escalate to eight hours of time just related to feedings, and that’s if you’re only doing breastfeeding and not pumping.  Add eight hours to your day if you plan to have a child.  That takes away from your feeding time, cooking, cleaning, etc.  If you add in being a business woman, there’s probably a few other things fit into your day too.  And you wonder why I can’t drop off that Christmas present to you this year, return a phone call, grimace at the concept of visitors who just want to “visit”, return your fifth phone call, write you a thank you  note, ….. ;-)  In the event you’ve forgotten how all-encompassing this is - when you have a child, and remember, I’m doing this solo by choice.

Other breastfeeding challenges?  Leaky boobs - worse yet, while you’re feeding.  One breast is being fed upon while the other is leaking if they’re on the “clock”.  So, you end up wasting potentially a good amount while you’re feeding with the other.  That’s annoying -downright annoying.  Why?  To leak all over your dry baby you just changed takes you into another level of Mommy frustration that only breastfeeding moms can understand.  That’s where “liquid gold” comes in - and Mother’s patience to the nth degree.  Which leads me to why I like to pump.  Why waste any of that precious hard-earned milk? Maddening, just maddening.

So why not just pump?  They tell you (they being lactation consultants and Moms that know) that pumping will not get you as much as the baby can herself from the breast.  Many women pump to keep their milk coming in - and to not offset the schedule, even if they’re at work.  At night, though, if you haven’t produced ahead of time - trying to pump when your baby has woken up and is “crazy” for food - good luck with that.  No stress there.  And you are “stupid tired” or “wasted tired” and so you stumble into this aura of exhaustion to feed your child or produce for her.

It’s actually a bit humorous - could make a great sitcom episode for those of us who are breastfeeding Moms and know what I’m talking about here.  Often you might end up pumping just enough for her to take the edge off, or formula in some cases, because you are too sore to breastfeed for every feeding or too damn tired.  If only I could produce ahead of time - all the time.  I prefer to pump at night because the prolactin levels are highest, you produce the greatest amount of milk at night, and you might even get a kick out of how much more you produce at night.

The next challenge is getting her to go right back to sleep - sometimes that happens - sometimes it doesn’t.  I often glance at the clock only to realize an hour has passed and can’t believe it’s been an hour since we’ve been up.  She is just now back in her crib - she’s fed, she’s had her diaper changed, and she’s had her sweet little outfit changed - which she really appreciated in the middle of the  night.  Of course, the dog has woken up, the cat has petitioned for food, so we’ve let them out to use the bathroom and fed them afterwards.  They’ve gone back to sleep in most cases pretty quickly -

Now, if only Mommy could go right back to sleep.  I’m wide awake.  Don’t ask me why as I’ve only had two hours of sleep. I am beyond exhausted on the first feeding I’ve got to wake up for - and most Moms I know admit the same.  In fact, I know a Mom about to deliver her second child and she’s put the word out for the 2 a.m. feeding call - who wants to help?  Few, I imagine, unless you are a recent, recent Mommy who knows how hard this is.  I know many Moms who are 100% in charge of overnight feedings - but there are also men who absolutely get up for the 2 a.m. feeding.  One of them will be up again for a 4:30 or 5:30 feeding, and if they’re lucky they can catch up on their sleep sometime. 

But in the event you’re wondering about “well, isn’t this what you wanted?”- while it’s harder than hell to do these overnight feedings, especially if you are breastfeeding because that takes so much more out of you, it’s worth it, truly worth it when you hold her tiny little hands, when you look over and see a “child” of yours in the crib - and you’ve waited all these years for such a miracle to occur - and she entrusts you with all she’s got - of course, there is no second guessing here, none. 

God love breastfeeding Moms - for going the extra mile, or in some cases, what seems like running a Marathon.  Breastfeeding night after night, all day long, is like running a 26.2 mile marathon.  Occasionally, for those of us who’ve run marathons, you feel like you’ve hit the wall.  It’s the 19th mile, which sucks big time, on an overnight feeding.  But when you get into those last couple of miles, you’re in the home stretch.  You see the finish gate, the guy standing there handing out medals, and you forget how tired you feel, or for how long you’ve trained, or how much your body hurts.  In the hours that follow, where everyone congratulates you for finishing the marathon or coos about your finish time, you forget all the hard work that went into training for the marathon, or what it was like being “out there” for 26.2 miles.  You tell yourself like an idiot, I’m doing this again next year, only to forget how hard it is to train and run a marathon. 

But somehow you persevere - as all Moms do - who choose to go the extra mile and breastfeed, or are lucky enough to be able to do this.  I’ve talked to so many moms who were unable to breastfeed, that when I’m asked if I’m going to continue breastfeeding, I wearily answer of course I am going to continue going through this madness.  Because I’m one of the lucky ones - that got to be able to have a child despite infertility issues and being single - and on top of it all - I was able to produce milk - not everyone is able to do so.  On top of it all, Melina has finally learned to feed from both breasts, and when I’m capable of handling the discomfort, I let her feed throughout the day without pumping.  This will change when I go back into the office, although I will take her with me absolutely - that is the point of having your own business - I can call the shots here.  So, because I’m lucky enough to have a child, because I’m lucky enough to breastfeed, I choose to continue running this marathon, as hard as it is, as painful as it can be, because I can.

Baby = One Month Old - How Things Change

Melina is now a month old - we go for a five-week checkup on Monday.  It’s so incredible to see little changes at this stage.  Here are some observations in my little one month old baby girl:

We’ve survived delivery & arrival, jaundice, two trips to Children’s Hospital, a spinal cord ultrasound, three doctor’s visits, one month of breastfeeding and supplemental pumping.  We’ve survived a few business phone calls and several drop-ins at the house.  All in all, we’ve done our first month quite well - for it being first month on our own. 

26th December 2008

Christmas Spent As It Was Meant to Be

Merry Christmas Everyone!

What a wonderful day it was - Melina and I woke up and stayed up.  The sun was shining for most of the day, and that’s what made Christmas Day extra special with her.  It gave us a little extra boost of much needed energy to get out and take our first walk together.  We listened to Christmas music on WOSU 89.7 FM.  One of my favorites for Christmas time is the Nutcracker - and great to introduce Melina to it at this stage.  It cheered us up, and soon after our morning ritual we were able to take a walk outside.  We got all bundled up, as it was around 25 degrees.  I wanted her to be warm, but not too warm.  Lucky, the dog, got her Buckeye sweater on all by herself (just kidding), and Bentley the Persian cat import from the  neighborhood drop-off gang (abandoned) got to go on the walk as well.  So, off we went, Melina in the overpriced Zolowear fabric ringsling - close to my heart and tummy - Lucky on leash, and Bentley running in and out of the trees and bushes.  Sometimes, I wonder what gets into Bentley - he runs so hard down the middle of the street - at times I wonder if he’s Cody reincarnated.  He is the strangest, yet coolest cat. 

We dropped Lucky off after a short round, and then Melina and I took another round just the two of us.  Lots of “oohs and ahhs” as we walked by people on their way out for Christmas festivities with family.  It felt good to get some sunshine, fresh air, and exercise.  Sure enough, Melina fell fast asleep. 

Friends stopped by around 3.  Numerous calls and text messages came in early Christmas morning, and family checked in as well.  They’re all up in Massachussetts visiting my older brother, and his wife Lilly and kids. 


Melina Christmas 2008

Okay, it’s 2:30 a.m. - and my boobs are telling me the time - and it’s time to go.

All in all - despite a little hiccup Christmas Eve after a surprisingly upsetting phone call - Christmas was wonderful - Melina and I spent quality time by the Christmas tree on Christmas night - with her nursing and looking into the tree lights - and then falling asleep, peacefully, on my chest.  I am ever so thankful for such a wonderful Christmas gift.

24th December 2008

Unexpected Friends, Flattery & Favors 1 reply

When I got pregnant earlier this year, I envisioned that I’d have a change in friends potentially.  As many mused that my life would change entirely, I mused back that was okay.  At the end of my fascinating day of travels around the world, I was still coming home to a lot of pets, basically, and that was about it.  So, I was ready to come home to family.  Don’t get me wrong - I love my pets - but 2007 was a year of care-giving to older pets and I was ready for a human challenge. 

When I got pregnant and began to announce it to the world, through emails and blogging, I received unexpected support from some clients who I’d like to think I’d call my friends.  They have become friends.  It’s always interesting to me when you have friends for years, but when you bring a child into the world, some of those friends may not be into “baby” or anything about baby.  In fact, they may be far removed from your baby world and in fact, are a bit annoyed by it all.  Yes, in most cases these would be single people who do not have children.  So, it won’t surprise you when I say that these people aren’t in the “unexpected support group”.  I’d also say that from my family members, the unexpected support group came from my sisters-in-law, whom I’ve not been particularly close to, but they have been incredibly supportive and have reached out in a variety of ways.  I have newfound respect for my older brother’s wife as she came here for a week to help me at the hospital, and the first couple of days at home.  You get to see so much when you spend a week with someone, but even moreso when you are ill or incapable of doing much - how does the other person react to you?  You can judge alot by that person’s reaction or support of you during your worst times.  My sister-in-law Lilly was amazing! 

Perhaps what has surprised me most, as business colleagues and clients go, is the undying support I’ve received from some of my clients for my decision to have a baby on my own.  I’m not just talking about packages in the mail - or those that were dropped off at my office - because there have been an abundance of those - I’m talking about emails, text messages and phone calls, as well as some whom have even flown out to visit me for a few days, all in support of Melina and I. 

Some women whom I barely know have contacted me about my decision to have a child on my own, through fertility, and shared their own personal stories about trying to do the same thing, once, and giving up.  Hearing that I’m an “inspiration” to some of these women who desperately want family, but have opted for careers and then sought family later in life to no avail, feels good.  It’s hard work - it’s soul-searching - it’s in fact- soul drenching - You have to drench your soul with this - it has to be all-encompassing - and you have to be ready to make some serious sacrifices - and take some serious risks - to try to have a child on your own.  You have to surrround yourself with positive energy sources, in the form of friends, reading, music, and spirituality, and yes, I mean both the God-kind and the candle-yoga kind.   Network your cause through your female and male friends - as you would work a room - because you’re going to need every single one of these people to help you become a single mom.

What I would say is this in terms of acting as an inspiration to others - of whatever age they may be - I can remember a variety of times in my life where I worked really hard at something to attain a particular goal.  There were times that those goals were not attained due to someone holding me back for whatever reason, good or bad.  But when no one could stop me from working hard at attaining some particular goal - and I mean no one - then I always attained that goal if I worked my butt off (which is hard because it’s big).  ;-)

I always found that at the end of the tunnel, at the end of the journey - the success was sweeter because I had fought hard to get there - and there was always an amazing sacrifice to get there.  If I look back on my 40 years, the goals achieved always had some helpers along the journey - some of whom served a purpose for just that journey - and in fact I have no idea where they are now, or in some cases - don’t even know their names.  For whatever reason, though, I have been lucky enough to receive a lot of help along this particular fertile path of having a child on my own.  I continue to receive a lot of help. 

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t had a lot of help for that 2 a.m. feeding, that hourly feeding 24/7, or the stamina to keep your body upright when it’s 140% exhausted.  But I’ve had help in so many ways from so many people that I owe all of you a lot.

Just in the past few days, here are some of the people that have helped me, or done something for me, all in support of Melina and I, and my journey to be a single mom:

Christopher - weekly grocery run, walk the dog, anything else I need

Tamara - daily dog walk, scoop cat boxes, feed cats and dog

MaryAnne - neighbor - brought me a little Christmas Evergreen tree - for some greenery today

Darlene & Collin Street Bakery - have you been reading my blogs to know that I’m exhausted and eating all kinds of wierd things that require no preparation?  Thanks for the pecan cake sampler, and the incredible coffee - I love that coffee!!!  I’ve eaten that pecan cake with my left hand while holding Melina at odd hours of the night in my right hand.  I’ve enjoyed coffee again, for the past few days, since your unexpected package arrived.

Jessica - called to say she wanted to drop something off from the office (Jenna and Jessica) for Christmas

Anna - said something really nice on her blog about me - really nice - in fact so nice I think it’s a first, and might even be the “last” ;-) thank you Anna.

Tara - wrote me to say she wanted to get a picture of her holding Melina - she wants it for her screensaver -

Rich - wrote me to say something nice about the birth celebration announcement in Sunday’s paper

Dad - took two of Melina’s photos and put captions on them, one of which is so good that colleagues said I should use it for marketing

Linda - from Playtex - who sent me Playtex bottles, drop-ins, liners, etc - I really do like those bottles and am now preferring them over Avent and Medela - thank you!

Lynnette - that personalized frame you sent me - thank you - as if the first package of goodies wasn’t enough - what a personal touch and how much time you take to acknowledge my journey with Melina - as a career mom of two beautiful girls - you are an inspiration to me!

Numerous clients and colleagues and even one of the OSU deans, who wrote about Melina’s photos -all saying such nice things

Beth - helped me with some business items, getting Melina’s birth announcement taken care of, and has frequently checked in on me

Susan - who not only drove out here to help me for a few days - continues to phone-stalk me at times to make sure I’m okay

April & her family - fixed dinner, made a grocery run, and sent me home with some dinner goodies - and this is what she’s done just in the past few days - but has done more than any other friend I’ve known for years - and I’ve only reconnected with her in the past year - a business colleague - and yet, she’s done so much for me - and welcomed me to her entire family - thank you April, Garry, Sophie and Peggy. 

Kristi - how could I leave you out?  You’ve read my blog entries tirelessly, supported my blog entries by offering feedback on product suggestions, and supported me in so many ways - another former client of mine.

Elaine - not only as a client, but as an industry colleague - you’ve checked on me numerous times, offered your support, sent me packages of goodies, and always, always made sure I was okay personally before we turned to business topics on every call.

These are just people that have checked in on me the last four days or so - and it’s been 10 months of pregnancy and one month post-partum.  So thank you - all of you - who’ve been so incredible to me not just in the past few days, but in the past 11 months.  Your support is often unexpected and greatly, greatly appreciated.  It will be hard to pay you back in the ways you’ve helped me - but I hope to have the opportunity to pay it forward, if not to you directly, then in some way, some day.

23rd December 2008

The Vaccine Controversy - Should We Vaccinate Our Children? 1 reply

Tonight, I caught a part of the Charlie Rose show with Bill Gates and his work through the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.  He talked about malaria being the top killer of children - diarrheal diseases a close second or third killer - he talked about polio in India.  He talked about vaccinations, and while I was having a hard time staying awake through his conversation with Charlie Rose, it’s interesting to hear him talk about saving the world with vaccinations.  Compare that to the controversy growing in the United States and perhaps Switzerland (?) about the MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) vaccination and its possible link to autism.

I’m like many others who are new moms, who are wondering should they vaccinate their children?  I think absolutely, right?  MMR? Yes.  Polio? Yes.  Others, I’m not so sure.  Are we over-vaccinating our children?  Here is the current American Pediatrics Vaccine Schedule.  But it’s the MMR vaccination that has been linked to autism.  I received both vaccinations as a child, and am glad I did.  But the vaccination I had in early 1970 is likely not the same as what we have today.  In the 1980s, according to one site, the measles, mumps and rubella vaccination was combined into one vaccination.  In 1998, Dr. Andrew Wakefield’s study was published in the Lancet about a link to autism and the MMR vaccination, specifically with reference to exposing the young child to more than one wild virus at a time.  Thus, consider giving the vaccination to the child, separately, one at a time.  There are stories of rashes, fevers, pneumonia, and even death at www.thinktwice.com regarding administration of the MMR vaccination, where parents are writing in about adverse reactions after having the vaccination.  So, why aren’t we separating the vaccination again?  Can we request this?  What are the solutions, and who is coming up with them?

What information is easily available is the controversy - what we’re doing about it is not so easy to find.  Here is the Autism’s Research Institute’s website about the controversy, the Institute of Medicine (IOM) and their claims that autism and the MMR vaccination are not related. 

You might have also heard about Jenny McCarthy’s son, who has autism, and her book, Louder Than Words: A Mother’s Journey in Healing Autism, on what helped her son become a normal, healthy child again.  Here’s an excerpt from the site above: Many people aren’t aware that in the 1980s our children received only 10 vaccines by age 5, whereas today they are given 36 immunizations, most of them by age 2. With billions of pharmaceutical dollars, could it be possible that the vaccine program is becoming more of a profit engine then a means of prevention?

We believe autism is an environmental illness. Vaccines are not the only environmental trigger, but we do think they play a major role. If we are going to solve this problem and finally start to reverse the rate of autism, we need to consider changing the vaccine schedule, reducing the number of shots given and removing certain ingredients that could be toxic to some children.

 

Jenny McCarthy formed an organization that suggests a different vaccine schedule - http://generationrescue.org/  This link talks about the vaccination combination risk, and upping your dosage of Vitamin C before and after the vaccine, as well as delaying vaccine administration until the child is 18-24 months of age.  Vaccines are often administered beginning at two months.  I could not get the PDF to load properly for the 1983 vaccination schedule, but apparently the schedule looking back to 1983 is vastly different than what it is today.  Another commentary on Cnn.com about her son’s diagnosis of autism.

A federal court rules in favor of Hannah Poling, a 9-year old child, in that vaccinations might have caused her autism.  She received her vaccinations at 19 months, and within three months showed signs of autism.  Within 48 hours, she had high fevers, inconsolable crying, and was unable to walk.   By the way, this article has a variety of different timelines for when the autism occurred - but you can read it if you wish.  Here’s a mom of an autistic child who writes about the Hannah Poling case on her blog.

I was talking Sunday with my parents about Melina’s next round of checkups, and talked about how they are suggesting I begin vaccinations in the next month or so.  I walked into the other room after I hung up the phone.  NPR’s American Life was on - and strangely enough, a story about the San Diego measles outbreak where one child caused exposure to something like 980 people - need to research this too, all because one chose not to vaccinate.  From a 7-year old child, to numerous exposures through family, a pediatrician’s office, a flight to Hawaii - whew!

I’m not in favor of withholding vaccinations - it’s like Bill Gates said - we don’t want to see children again who are unable to walk because the parent chose not to vaccinate their child for polio, or a measles outbreak due to some who chose not to vaccinate against it.  But has the vaccination schedule increased, or ingredients different, and are they as effective as they used to be?

More to come on this topic as I look at what I’m to do for Melina in the coming weeks and months ahead. 

More resources/links on the vaccine controversy:

Dr. Sears Vaccine Schedule - Alternative Vaccine schedule to CDC’s vaccine schedule who proposes that we do NOT give four live viruses at one time, as this would not cocur in nature.  The chickenpox virus vaccination is also administered simultaneously with the MMR vaccine.  He’s proposing they be administered separately.  Ironically, the entire country?? has run out of separate MMR vaccines - and won’t have the Measles and Rubella until mid-2009, and Mumps until end of 2009????  Wow!  This is certifiably nuts. 

Message Board Posting re Dr. Sears Alternative Vaccine Schedule - scroll down on this link here - you can find it below a couple of initial posts.  I’ve also copied and pasted from this site (link above from message board) - so don’t quote me because I haven’t checked the book myself although I do plan to buy it - it’s on Amazon.com.

NPR & Story on the Vaccine Controversy

Basically, about two hours of research makes me see both sides of the controversy.  Why can’t we split up the vaccine, and not vaccinate until later when the baby has more immunity?  Alternatively, if we do this, can we continue to have the same lifestyle we’ve had in the past?  In other words, I don’t think if I hold off on her vaccine all together (not in favor of this), or split them apart (in favor of this by the way) over a longer period of time - I should be able to allow her susceptibility to the disease by exposure in a variety of places.  For example, the child was on a plane from Switzerland.  I think that perhaps the child should not be on a plane from Europe - without vaccinations.  But, in today’s world, a kid could be exposed easily third party on a flight from Columbus, Ohio to Orange County.  For those of us who consider flying with our children prior to vaccination schedule of MMR, or Polio or Chicken Pox, perhaps that is not such a good idea - is the risk too great?

Excerpt from the message board link and one of the posts:

Dr. Bob’s Alternative Vaccine Schedule

2 months: DTaP, Rotavirus

3 months*: Pc, HIB

4 months: DTaP, Rotavirus

5 months*: Pc, HIB

6 months: DTaP, Rotavirus

7 months*: Pc, HIB

9 months: Polio

12 months: Mumps, Polio

15 months: Pc, HIB

18 months: DTaP, Chickenpox

2 years: Rubella, Polio

2 1/2 years*: Hep B, Hep A (start Hep B at birth if any close relatives or caregivers have Hep B)

3 years: Hep B, Measles

3 1/2 years*: Hep B, Hep A

4 years: DTaP, Polio

5 years: MMR

6 years: Chickenpox

12 years: Tdap, HPV

12 years, 2 months*: HPV

13 years: HPV, Meningococcal (once Meningococcal vaccine is approved for age 2, Dr. Sears will move it there and delay Hep B by 6 months) 

20th December 2008

It’s 2:30 a.m. and I Just Fed Melina 3 Ounces of Baby Formula

Okay, this is near crazy, yes?  I just put Melina back in the crib - she’s been cluster feeding for two days now, or eating every hour, and sometimes every 30 minutes.  I just emptied a three ounce bottle of Similac baby formula, as I’m only capable of producing so much, right?  My last lactation consultant suggested the last feeding of the night be formula, if needed, as it might make her sleep longer.  Ah - Hah!  But I’m afraid it’s not working.  I breastfed her at 11:30 p.m., again a little after midnight using the pump - and then just over an hour later with a very full bottle of formula. 

When I walk away from the crib, within a few moments, she cries.  She seems fine, however, if I walk up back to her crib and stand there.  She calms down pretty quick in fact, with or without pacifier, as long as I’m right next to the crib.  She did not sleep between the 8:30 and 2:30 feeding - other than cat naps after feeding.  This means I’ve been on my feet nearly nonstop for the past 24-36 hours, and my body is reminding me that I’ve had a c-section and I need to take it easy.  Funny how our bodies are such great messengers - the challenge is to listen to and heed their advice.

All I know is that this creates mommy exhaustion beyond belief, as noted in my “Cranky” blog entry yesterday.  Now, as long as I can have the mornings to recover, I’m okay by 1 or 2 p.m. - and “normal” again.  But, the nights and mornings are really hard.  This afternoon, the girls from the office come to the house and we reviewed some reports.  They were nice enough to get me organized.  I fit in a call to a client for about half an hour after they left, and I caught up there as well.  

When working with women who understand your need to feed your child (twice during a three hour meeting), it really makes me feel like maybe, in a controlled environment, I can do this.  Breastfeed and work, but honestly, the two are hard to get along.  Women are meant to be at home (yes, I’m saying this as an educated, liberal woman) socially speaking, to raise kids.  I can see the blog recaps on this entry - whew!  But socially we’re intended to raise babies, produce milk, feed them, etc.  We’re not meant to work and do this at the same time - and it really affects a lot of things socially for women to try to do both.  Yet, we try to do both, and succeed at both - working and sustaining a child in many ways (nurturing, food, cleaning, etc.)

 For some women who have chosen not to do both, their lives are simpler in most ways.  They may not agree, and it’s all relative, but living for yourself, or your husband’s needs, or in general not as complex as living around the clock based on your child’s needs.  For those of us, who can’t imagine life without children, if we are lucky enough to have them in our lives, we create complex worlds for ourselves by working and having children simultaneously.  But, as long as we are surrounded by supportive women and men, we can make this work - we can do good at home and at the office - I hope, I think.

Melina on the other hand, her needs are simple right now: eat, poop, pee and sleep.  Those four basic elements drive my entire day, week, and past month - on how and when to support her very basic needs.  It’s amazing how four simple needs in life can drive a 40-year old business woman to her knees - and yet, be the most fulfilling task or job a woman has ever known.  Sometimes I forget to slow down and enjoy the moment - despite the advice from many of you - because I’m on demand 24/7 - and I have work to do here - but every once in a while - I remember to just pause and enjoy the moment - and take it all in.

I snuck downstairs tonight for a few minutes, decorated the Christmas tree, and listened to Christmas music.  I breathed a little deeper, a little more relaxed at how the most simple Christmas wish possible of having a child is now a reality - and for that I thank God very much.  The wherewithall to have a donor, the science behind it all, and the doctor who worked with me for a whopping four years, the amazing number of friends who’ve supported me all along, the family members who’ve supported me on her arrival, and the positive energy that I feel from many of you who read this blog. 

While Melina won’t remember this Christmas, I will, as the first Christmas I was able to share with my tiny little daughter, who has me wrapped around her fingers already.

;-)

19th December 2008

Cranky

I’m cranky this morning.  It’s 7:20 a.m.  Melina did not go to sleep hardly at all last night.  She was apparently cranky too.  She was hyper or cluster-feeding which is not uncommon at night, apparently, nor when she experiences a growth spurt.  Since she has just outgrown two footed sleeper newborn outfits, I’m thinking it’s due to a growth spurt?  I have no clue, all I know is I’m cranky.  I fed her my food from the breast, from the bottle, formula - I just about cleared out of all stock at the homegrown store, plus the Similac store here at the house - within a few hours - and she kept wanting more every hour or so.  I think maybe around 3:30 or so, I figured I’d let her chill in the crib for a bit.  She did not want to sleep - it was either be fed, be held, or cry, cry, cry. 

I was up again around 5:30 - and breastfed her - what’s more upsetting.  My new Medela Freestyle pump sucks - or doesn’t, however you want to look at it.  My boobs hurt like hell, more from her than from pumping.  My rental pump needs to be returned - but I don’t have time to return it, and perhaps I shouldn’t return it, since the Freestyle doesn’t do its job well at all.  $250 on Craigslist.com and it’s no good.

I’m beyond tired.  I’m just plain cranky.  I went downstairs around 6:45 a.m. this morning and banged around in the kitchen - that made me feel better.  Melina on the other hand - she is now finally sleeping very well.  I changed her clothes, because the latest problem is faucet boobs - not leaky boobs - but faucet boobs.  I don’t think I can feed her fast enough - to match the supply at times.  Pumping makes sense to me - I can measure - I can feel confident in so many ways - but on the other hand, it’s a pain in the ass sometimes. 

I need sleep - I know that.  I need to vent.  I need to be able to get my frustration out in some healthy way - so it was making a blueberry frozen smoothie with organic fruit and yogurt - after I banged around in the kitchen. 

Working moms who are doing everything to breastfeed, at all hours of the day and night - help them - seriously.  Feed them, drop off stuff for them, do what you can to help then - because this is not easy work.  It would be so much easier, relatively, to shove a bottle of formula down a kid’s throat - relatively.  If you count easy as colicky, gassy, spit up, holding them upright - you know - relatively.  But breastfeeding - is just plain hard for most if not all women.  And, if they work on top of it, it’s downright insane at times.  But, when you look at that adorable, smirky face looking up at you, and you know that you can pacify a cry with a working boob - you can only do one thing - grin and bear the searing pain to the core of your breast at times, look up, shut your eyes for a few seconds - and focus on the good you are doing for your baby. 

The girls are coming from the office today to work on stuff.  Not quite four weeks and there is so much work to be done, that I’m needing a working session with them here at the house.  I’m beginning to have to schedule when I can see people (business and personal), in between feedings.  Some are not cool about this - and quite frankly - we don’t want to whip out a boob to feed our baby in front of you either - but literally if you choose to breastfeed - and/or pump milk - you’re doing what’s best for baby and figuring out when we can see you, or talk on the phone, or all of these things is not necessarily fun so get over yourself.  I’m cranky, I know.

My dear shiatsu practitioner would tell me I need to breathe deeper right now - or in fact, just breathe - just breathe.  I’m taking five deep inhalations right now - I’m on a journey - and there have always been helpers for the heroine along the path.  She’s taught me that, and folklore stories also demonstrate this.   

Beyond being this really brave single woman having a child on her own - I think a good cry would do me good - if only I could cry that easily.  One way to emit a good cry - watch a sappy chic flic - that always works if you have one handy or have time of course.  Or, watch Ghost Whisperer on CBS Friday night - that seems to work well too.

Okay, my frustration is down a notch.  The ocean sound soother is in the nursery - she sleeps - I need to pump with the good pump to be ready for her in an hour.  My parts need a break from her mouth.  Forgive my rambles, but sometimes you just need a way to get it out in a healthy manner.  For me, it’s often blogging although a treadmill session would also be good about now. 

Baby Care Products I’d Happily Endorse 5 replies

As Melina and I near her first month (four weeks) milestone on this upcoming Monday, it’s been interesting to see what products I got, which ones I avoided, which products I later ended up getting and those I am pondering purchasing now.

I registered at BabiesRUs.com - which by the way, is often more expensive that Target - but often has more selection for registry diversity.  Many of you sent your recommendations, some of which I purchased, and others I thought were potentially unnecessary.  As first-time Moms, we are often overwhelmed by the suggestions, and for that matter the products you can, should, could, would buy at the baby store.  Not to mention, this all gets expensive, right?

So, I think it’s time to weigh in on the products I’ve gotten, where I’ve had issues, and what I needed more of, and what I haven’t used at all, or disliked. 

Baby clothing is probably the most important item here - outside the crib - and it ended up being the area where I was most unprepared.  Almost all the baby items I received were short-sleeved and not good for newborn baby in the winter Ohio land.  Thus, I only had a few items I could wear, and they were purchased or gifted after I had the baby. 

And the winner is “footed sleepers for newborn by Carter’s” - I have these two fleeced sleepers that are warm, and they are great for taking her to the doctor, sleeping in, and easy to get on and off.  I could have easily used more of these. 

Long-sleeved onesies by Gerber - you can’t find these things anywhere - they are hard to come by - I think I have two.  I need more of those, but am often unable to find them online or offline.  Short-sleeved Onesies or cross-over long-sleeved tops are easy to find relatively, but not the long-sleeved Onesies - I found these hard to get before cold weather set in, and before I had the baby.  They are harder to find online, surprisingly. 

If they could possibly make a cross-over long sleeved onesie - that would be amazing!  Melina screams bloody murder every time I put something over her head, although she’s getting better.  First time Moms such as myself - a little afraid we’re going to break the baby, right?  So, pulling your 6 lb baby’s head while she screams at the top of her lungs - and Mom here is even more intimidated by doing this as baby is so ever tiny, tiny…. I avoid things that I have to pull her head through - like the plague.  Those clothes sit in the drawers untouched since  the first attempt.

Problem with cross-over tops - they ride up her back - in fact lots of clothes ride up her back - exposing her tiny little back to the air. 

Not enough pants for her - A short-sleeved onesie with pants, socks (which she tosses off immediately), and a sweater isn’t a bad idea, but harder to do a diaper change. 

Okay, enough about baby clothes. 

The glider/ottoman is to die for, but hard to get in and out of in the first two weeks after c-section.  Love it though, and quickly moved it in the nursery - although lately it’s been a catch-all in between cleanings.  When it’s clean, I can rock her, nurse her, and look out the window at the snow - love it.

Sound sleeper - noise machine - puts her and I to sleep - love it, love it, love it, love it - get the point?

4-5 sheets, mattress protectors - went through more of these before I got changing table - and got better about smart diaper changes.  Now, not so bad.

Sleep positioner - love this thing - had friend get it after Melina would spit up or choke or gag after feeding, even if I had burped her.  She gets this gag affect - and I’m nervous about putting her on her back - definitely unable to leave her side for at least an hour after feeding.  Some bad reviews - about babies slipping in them - I put fleece blanket or receiving blanket underneath her and wrapped her tight like a swaddle - to keep her from slipping down into it.  She’ll soon outgrow this as her legs are already too long when not tucked up in the inutero style.

Changing table - I swore I didn’t need this until I started to break my back changing diapers - the changing table didn’t seem to fit into my tight nursery quarters - but within two weeks I decided I couldn’t live without a changing table.  I have one now, ordered it online, and had it delivered.  Love it - would NOT want to be without this.

Pack n play for downstairs - again love it - purchased this last minute before having baby - thank god I have changing table and bassinet for her in the pack n play downstairs - saves me.

Car seat - some say that they put their kids in the car seat in the house - I’ve done this too - great for after feeding her, and for awake time that she wants to watch out in an upright position - seems happier in this position than always on her back. 

Bottles - love the Avent bottles for ease of holding, but do not like the amount of milk/drool/spitup afterwards - must say the Playtex disposable collapsible liner is better - she feeds slower - spits up much less as result - less spilling down her cheek, into her clothes, onto her neck - you know what I mean.

Medela Pump - I have the symphony from the hospital rental - if only they could do a pickup service - like I have time to return this  right now - I keep renewing it for this reason.  I have two others now, and haven’t made time to get the rental returned.  I have the freestyle - just used it tonight for the first time.   We’ll see.

Daybed in nursery - priceless - thank God I did this - I can’t imagine sleeping in my room right now.  Someone brought me an old-style co-sleeper, but frankly I’m more likely to camp out with the daybed next to her crib for quite some time.  I can sit up, type on my laptop, work on my desktop, and see how she’s doing.  I live in the nursery it seems, 24/7. 

Having two sets of diapers, bottles, changing needs on the main floor and upstairs - crucial.  That was an issue the first few days - I didn’t have a complete set of everything on both floors, including a bottle washing station in the bathroom sink for her bottles, nipples, etc.  Dish soap was needed and a tupperware container for washing this stuff.

I’ll add product links in the coming days, possibly pictures from websites, if possible.

Color printer for color photos of your little one, camera gear, and website connection from the nursery - crucial -

Bathtubs - I don’t think I like either of them - I received two - I end up picking her up and holding her in my arms and getting both of us wet - so she’s secure in my arms while I wash her.  Perhaps as she gets a little bigger, this will be easier?  Not sure - maybe it will be harder. 

Fan, heater and humidifier for temperature control - this room is the warmest so important to keep temp controlled.  Could use digital thermometer for this room however. 

Pampers diapers - Swaddling Newborn for under 10 lbs.  Huggies leak on her.  Pampers are great.  Wipes - know they say not to use these but quite frankly, after a few washcloths and laundry piling up, knowing washer/dryer two floors below - yes, wipes became the way of doing things quickly.

The Diaper champ - yeah - not convinced a cute pink trashcan with plastic drawstring bags wouldn’t do the trick - this thing looks cute but diapers get stuck in the roundabout thingie.

Products I want to Buy?  Come back in a day or two, and I’ll have those ready.

18th December 2008

I Forgot What I Was Going to Write About

It’s 1:30 a.m. and I’ve been working on business stuff.  I’m about to have a 2:00 a.m. feeding, and it’s time to prepare for that.  I’ve tried going to bed before 2:00 a.m. and it makes the 2:00 a.m. feeding extraordinarily difficult.  Tonight, Melina did not go to bed until very late.  Having said that, I was going to write about something particular tonight, but I’ve forgotten what that was.  Pregnancy brain is bad but some say you deliver part of your brain when you deliver your child - and I’m beginning to wonder if that’s true.  It’s likely just sleep deprivation at its worst.

So - since I forgot what I was going to write about - I will tell you about something that only parents with little tiny ones can understand, or remember.  Diaper duty and all those funny sounds your little innocent one can make.

This evening some friends stopped by to help out - one with the dog and cats, another with groceries, and another with laundry and dinner.  I was resting on the couch with Melina after eating dinner, very peacefully.  I was talking with a friend of mine - and it was rather quiet time.  I looked down at my sweet, innocent, sleeping beauty - and then all of a sudden, she let the loudest sound rip from the lower anatomy and it scared the crap out of me!  I jumped completely out of my skin - which of course made us both laugh at how my little girl’s fart (or something else) had scared me so badly. 

I hear many who say they don’t do diaper changes, but as single mom - what the heck am I supposed to do?  There is no one to hand this off to - so diaper changes in the beginning with a 6 lb newborn baby are just plain outright scary.  You are completely afraid you are going to break the child.  I still am for that matter, but I’m getting better at them.  The funniest diaper change moment in the hospital - I’d heard about that green stuff (merconium) that comes out - I got my first really good laugh when that stuff started coming out.  It’s like a tube of green/black tar that won’t stop - and it just keeps coming and coming.  Of course, no one was around - and I was amazed at how fast my little girl was manufacturing this stuff.  ,

You soon realize how crucial it is to have diaper ready underneath the baby, BEFORE you begin to change her, the placement of every product known to man, the placement of the diaper pail (or Champ or Genie or whatever) - because you can not leave the baby in one of those changing stations, to throw something away, nor can you let go of her while you dig for Diaper #2 because something happened DURING the diaper change.  I never knew the value of diaper duty organization until that first multiple diaper change moment in the hospital. 

Then, the other day, she had her first diaper overflow - poor thing - sweet little girl - and all that stuff - whew!  I couldn’t help but laugh.  And of course, I’ve already written about her peeing on me - I’m now admittedly afraid to use baby wipes on her parts sometimes - each time I just want to avoid the tinkle tinkle moment. 

In the beginning, my dog had to tell me when Melina’s diaper needed changing.  She’d go stick her nose right up into the crib and point at the baby’s butt.  That’s how I knew there was an update.

The first time she tooted - her eyes opened wide and the look of shock on her face was priceless.  Who would imagine that my life would be filled with humor about these things?  This time last year, I was overwhelmed by penguin poo at the incredible destination of Antarctica - this year - it’s my little baby’s poo that excites me at times.  I think I need therapy - my life has more meaning with baby poo in it than any penguin poo to speak of.

One thing about breastfeeding you probably never wanted to know - you have more diaper changes typically with breastfeeding, and there are changes in the type of poo when you’re breastfeeding.  In fact, Playtex actually makes diaper wipes for babies that are breastfeeding, knowing there will be more diaper changes.  Who knew such things in life?  See what you get to learn when you have a baby?  And you thought I was an expert in search engine optimization and marketing on the Web? 

There are poo and pee logs you can buy - on Amazon.com.  Can you believe it?  In fact, one measure of your baby getting enough milk is the number of diapers, wet and otherwise, that you have each day?  You’re asked when you visit the pediatrician, and when you get the Department of Health nurse visit a week after you leave the hospital - if you’ve had at least six to seven wet diapers and a few poopy diapers each day?  So you begin to count diapers - and there are in fact log books for this purpose.  It’s probably for those who can’t remember what they were going to blog about - so in the event they want to blog about peeing and pooing, they could save this entry for the Log Book.  My baby girl will be mortified I’ve blogged about such things - she’ll need therapy too.  I do need to set up that savings account for her, don’t I?  ;-)

Okay, I’ll try to remember what it was I was going to blog about so I don’t write about poo-ing anymore.

16th December 2008

Can You Get Air Pockets When You Breastfeed? 1 reply

Question of the Day:

Can you get air pockets when you breastfeed?

I often feel like I have air pockets in my chest after pumping sometimes.  I wonder why.

Question of the Night:

Do your kidneys dry out when you breastfeed?

I can tell on this latter question - when I haven’t drank enough water or fluids throughout the day - I literally feel like those breast pumps are seeking fluids right from the kidneys - in other words - kidney discomfort grows if I’m not well hydrated.  A mason jar of water or juice is required.  Where’s hubby when I need him?  ;-)

Who Knew (Baby) Weight Gain Would Become So Important? 1 reply

Melina gained weight!  Yippee!  We got a good report card at the pediatrician today.  She is now 6 lbs, 11.5 ounces - and has gained enough weight that the doctor is pleased.  It took 3 weeks to surpass her birth weight.  It’s normal to go down up to 10 percent while in the hospital, but you have two weeks to regain that weight, based on my pediatrician recommendations.  Last week, she had only gained 4.5 ounces, so today was a big goal to have gained up to the birth weight.  She did just that, and exceeded by 1/2 ounce.  She’s now in fact the same weight I was when I was born 40 years ago.  I was 6 lbs, 11.5 ounces, 20 inches, as Melina is today.  I wonder how much that week and a half early affected Melina’s weight and jaundice, or if she’s just a sweet late bloomer.  Anyway, doc’s happy, I’m happy.  That means that the breastfeeding, pumping thing is working well enough.   This is the only time you will go to the doctor and feel elated that you’ve had weight ‘gain’, and that you’ve actually “met” gain requirements - so enjoy it. 

Melina Taking in a Deep Yoga Breath - She Often Does This
Melina Doing Her Deep Breathing Exercises
She’s Been Doing This Since Day 1
Reminder to Mommy: Breathe, Mom - it’s just a diaper change!

A couple of quick pregnancy brain moments to share with you - Monday - I had scheduled someone to come to my house to work on a couple of computers, but completely forgot it about it.  It’s amazing how a trip to the doctor can take your entire afternoon.  I had just returned from the pediatrician’s office, and run three short errands.  The all important Starbucks that Moms must live by (a little egg nog latte will make you forget your lack of sleep and pack another 1,000 calories your butt does not need after pregnancy).  I had food (Outback Steak for iron pumping) to eat, Melina of course, and a CVS grocery bag for those all important things you need right here, right now. 

I had to let the dog out after I got Melina settled, who was patiently waiting for me on the steps.  I opened the door to see a man in a black overcoat standing at my front door.  He hadn’t knocked - he was just there.  He reminded me of one of those Seventh Day Adventist people with his curly hair, glasses and black overcoat.  It took me by surprise.  He told me his name was Phillip - didn’t ring a bell with me.  He told me we had talked on the phone - he even verified that this was my address.  I was becoming increasingly impatient as I thought of my daughter and all the things that had happened in our town recently.  How did I not know this was some scam?  I was quick to send him on his way.  He walked away puzzled and began texting someone in my yard, and checking his phone.  I peeked at him through the window and my little mental alarm bells were arming.  I set my actual security alarm and thought of calling my neighbors to alert them to some “strange man” in my yard. By the way, he was probably calling me, but that phone was on buzz buried in my purse, which I could not hear or notice at this moment.

About a half an hour later, I was catching up on some business with my office and all of a sudden it occurred to me who this man was - yep - the computer repair guy.  Whoops!  I was mortified.  Anyway, called him and apologized and he was nice enough to come back and help out.

 At the nearly 5 a.m. feeding this morning, I was half comatose.  I like how when you get on a schedule, your breasts could literally tell you what time it is.  It’s like a spicket - it turns on, full blast (TMI - sorry - don’t read on ;-)  if you’re offended) of course while I’m already feeding Melina, formula I might add, ’cause I’m too wiped to pump right now.  I’m near the breast pump - I don’t have the lights on - so I stick one of those pumps under my boob hoping to catch what’s called “liquid gold” by breastfeeders and lactation consultants.  There is nothing worse than leaking such precious milk out on to your top, but as you soon learn from breastfeeding that you literally drench a top in a few seconds. 

I soon realize that the breast shield lacked one important ingredient - the bottle to catch the pumped milk.  I’m extraordinarily annoyed at my idiocy, and toss the shield on the desk and grab the other one.  As soon as I get the one going, then the other boob starts to drench my top from the other side.  Doggone it - of course, Melina is happily sucking down formula and I haven’t enough hands to do all my work here.  Some of you would say - I should have just breastfed, instead of feeding her formula.  You’re right but that seemed easier somehow when I woke up.  The light turns on - Melina will have to wait in my arm for more formula, and I capture 2 ounces of milk while she wiggles around in my arm.  It’s multi-tasking and simultaneous exhaustion at its best.  What an idiot I can be sometimes!

;-)

Okay, she’s gurgling and dropping her pacifier a few times in her crib - - I’ve pumped, stockpiled for later today, fed her formula, held her so she doesn’t spit it back up, burped her, and it’s past 5:30 a.m.  I’ve eaten a protein bar while I fed her, gotten ice water, let the dog out and would love to go right back to sleep.  I’ve had four hours of interrupted sleep, already having fed her once around 2 a.m. or something.  My net sleep is likely 2.5 hours.  My stitches are bothering me today - that tape thing - can’t I take that thing off yet?  It’s feeling funny today, uncomfortable.  I’m ready for the tape to come off.  I’m mentally ready to increase my physical activity level, yet the body isn’t quite there yet.  The doc says not to pull the tape off, that I should let it fall off - right!

Okay, I’m returning to slumberland.  All this thinking can wait, as there is much to do in a few hours - and since you’ve noted the strong brain activity above in my idiocy, it’s clear I need more sleep. 

———-

11 p.m. same day

———

That was the most productive part of my day, despite the obvious idiocy.  Somehow we got off our schedule and Melina needed more feedings throughout the day, she was awake more at times she wasn’t before (curve ball, eh?)  Anyway, it’s amazing how determined I became to get one good half hour of uninterrupted sleep today - and no matter what, Murphy’s Law perhaps, I’d lay down finally and try to sleep.  Invariably, she’d scream bloody murder only to go right back to sleep again.  It’s funny - how she does that - I go over and look at her in the crib or wherever she’s at - and half the time, she’s just fine.  The other half of the time, something has happened (formula has exited through her nose and she’s not happy about it, or she just oopsed her diaper or she can’t get her binky back) - and thus, the exhaustion continues.  I’m hoping for an easier day tomorrow.