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Laura Thieme

Bizresearch President – 10 years - 2007

Fisher College of Business Lecturer on Search Marketing

OSU Russian Studies Grad – 1993

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16th December 2007

Voyaging Home from Antarctica

We have one stop remaining but the thought of returning home is on many a mind
tonight.  A bit of sadness, a bit of trepidation with thoughts of what lies in
between here and home and that is Drake Passage.  We had 35 feet waves coming
through - and many of us were sick - however many were not.  At this point, the
majority of the sites to be seen have passed, books have been read, and
solitude, or boredom, settles in.  How do you handle solitude? 

I saw a rather tattered looking sailboat in Pendulum Cove at Deception Island
today - you could almost feel the need to catch its breath in calm waters
before it ventured back out again.  One expeditioner indicated it had likely
come from Ushuaia, Argentina.  This amazes me, because I think of 35 feet waves
and how a sailboat must do 360s and perhaps risk losing everything including
life to make it through these waters.  I am thankful for my strong ship.  She
looks big in the Cove, and personally I am thankful for it.  She’s not so big
that she can’t get into see some of these areas but she’s big enough to handle
harsher winds and seas.  I can hear when she brushes up against some ice
however, and it always unnerves me a bit as I lie in my bed writing at night. 

Solitude is a precious but precarious thing.  What you do with solitude is what
has to be managed carefully.  For some, they can not handle being alone - I’ve
dated a few men actually who can not handle solitude for more than an hour.
They absolutely have to be in the company of someone, a woman or friends, at
nearly all times.  I, on the other hand, am happy to be in quiet times for
approximately 40 % of the time, however, if I don’t see people for a day, I get
a little stir-crazy. 

I would probably not pass the mental test of solitude in Antarctica.  I can
only go one day a week at home without seeing people.  Imagine days, weeks or
months without seeing anyone else, or anyone new, or groups or crowds of
people.   We do personality profiling and predictive indexes in our office.
I’m extroverted however enjoy time alone to think, to analyze, to write.  It’s
when I get my best work done and feel worthwhile.  But I still need to feel the
presence of others.  At home, I’ll go to a Starbucks - here I’ll go to the one
of the lounges where people are reading or chatting.  I feed off their energy,
good and bad - thus desire to be around positive people in general.  

Light, water and food are necessary energy sources.  Imagine 24 hours of
darkness; alternatively 24 hours of light.  How does your body react, or how do
you think it would react?  Some do not handle lack of light very well.  There
were a couple of stories told about the importance of being careful who you
hire in Antarctica for the winter, for the periods of darkness where few people
come about and there is no outside energy source, other than fuel for heat and
inside light.  Imagine living in a large dark closet for 4-6 months, with only
a lamp.  How do you ensure you hire people who can handle this kind of stress,
especially after a tough day, or around someone they don’t care for?  The lead
expeditioner told a story about a cook and another employee not getting along -
one chased the other with a hammer - or something like that - and ended up
getting prosecuted in Hawaii and went to jail.  If he went to jail in Hawaii,
perhaps he’s actually much happier, who knows?  Although I hear the scorpions
there are quite large - yuck!

It’s interesting as I write this entry, content in my solitude to be away from
the crowd tonight. I received a call from one of the ship’s officers whom I had
met earlier today - who asked if we could have a drink upstairs.  He is
married, with two children.  We talked about why people are drawn to Antarctica
- including him.  He had the opportunity to work other cruises, but wanted only
this cruise to Antarctica.  He’s been doing this particular cruise for five
years, but has been in the business for 20. 

A couple of others arrived to chat with us, however, I found myself wanting to
pull away, to get away from the chatter and look within, quiet in my cabin down
on A deck, where I could lie in bed, write, and feel the soft waves pushing up
underneath my belly, into the bed, and then slowly collapsing.  The motion of
the ocean’s waves - it can be oh so soothing, and then it can thrash.

People are beginning to exchange business cards to stay in touch.  I have
chosen not to carry mine despite the norm, keeping them safe in my cabin.  The
sooner I bring out the business cards, the sooner life returns to normal.  I
turned over one person’s card presented to me today and had the strangest d‚j…
vu.  About four years ago, I met a man named Jay.  For a few short months, we
were involved.  I often think of him, and have talked occasionally with him in
the past year.  Well, today, this business card on one side read the couple’s
wife’s name and her contact information, and on the other, the husband’s name -
the writing was so similar - and caused me to recall Jay who had four years ago
presented another person’s card to me having written his name in similar
writing style on the flip side.  I still have his card tucked away at home and
often come across it, usually as I’m looking for something else rarely finding
what I’m actually trying to locate. 

Jay, a man who has the most amazing eyes, smile, and legs I have ever known.
However, as I’ve learned in life, just because you meet the most amazing person
one day who seems as if they will be your soul mate; life changes, and perhaps
your destiny changes into something else.   I think of where I was a year ago,
for example, on the eve of having some serious surgery so I could maintain my
fertility.  I had a boyfriend with whom I was unhappy, was facing surgery, very
discontent with various situations in life - and now one year later, I am
healthy again, voyaging across the oceans to and from Antarctica, taking polar
plunges, climbing mountains, making new friends from all the over the world,
more than content to be on my own again, and discovering another continent,
including what’s on the outside as well as what’s on the inside.
 

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