15th May 2009

Mother’s Day Weekend - The Life of Single Mom is Not Bad 1 reply

Somedays I forget to breathe.  Other days, I’m doing so much, so fast, I’m half-laughing at the insanity of it all.  Last weekend, I had the best Mother’s Day Weekend.  Perhaps because it was my first mother’s day - perhaps because I trekked to Maryland and Washington, DC to spend the first Mother’s Day with my Mom and Melina.  I stayed with a former client who has become a friend/colleague Friday night in Cumberland.  Saturday, I travelled to see Susan who had come all the way out here when Melina was born.  It was the first time I met her children.  From there, I went on to Cousin Tina’s house where their rottweiler and son’s german shepherd met us.  I had dinner with Tina’s family and caught up with them, after 15 years.  I couldn’t believe that much time had passed since we last were together. 

It’s wierd.  In some ways, having a baby makes time go by so much faster.  Yet, in other ways, you slow down more to savor the tiniest moments in your personal history.  You want to make the most idiotic moment - in  a funny way - last forever.  The first rollover, the first reactionary smile, the first word, the first applesauce OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??? moment, the first time she reaches for herself in the mirror and you realize you haven’t buckled her in the car seat moment, the first time she sneezes BOOGIES on your arm, yes, actual boogies, the first trip together, the first  … amazing series of “moments”.   This is what is so exciting about being a mom, perhaps just a first-time mom, but the glory of being a mom is wonderful at the age of 40.  I’m thrilled that I’m taking the time to slow down and notice all of these things.

Ironically, I have less sleep in my body than I’ve ever had in my life.  College life and partying - in my 20’s - I still had time to catch up.  I never went this far, for this long, without sleeping more than 6 hours in one stretch, or the norm of 4 hours in one stretch.  Any man who wants to challenge me on “I’ve been there, done that” - just give me five minutes.  I can obliterate that in a heartbeat, unless of course, you’re a single parent with 100% custody and no live-in nanny.

There are a lot of benefits to being a single parent.  I don’t have to argue with anyone about how I’m doing this.  Not having help means not having to disagree on every single little thing you do.  It’s rare that I find a person who is happy with their mate at all times, and on top of it, agrees with them about every little bit of child-rearing.  Many of my friends have admitted privately that doing it single, raising child on your own, isn’t such a bad idea.  It sounds hard as hell, but you don’t have to put up with the time of having a relationship.  Sometimes I’ve dated a few men that have been nearly as needy as my kid.  Although I’m thankful I never had to wipe their a**es. 

So, celebrating the first mother’s day was time spent with friends and family several hours away from home.  It could not have been a better day.  I am thankful for the time to share with Melina, and for bringing me closer to family members. 

It’s 1:14 - and I’ve got a Powerpoint I just uploaded to LinkedIn.  I’ve erroneously somehow deleted something I had created tonight and fixed part of it, I think.  I’ve watched Grey’s season finale (which was quite good).  I’ve breastfed, fed applesauce, walked her twice around the block, talked to neighbors, talked to a colleague of mine who is preparing landing pages for Bizwatch, had a 2 hour client consult, a 2 hour email marketing review, and a couple of calls with my contractor at the office.

What I did not make time to do today?

Upload pictures to Flickr, transfer video of Melina to my computer, and integrate with this blog - but another time, right?

One Response to “Mother’s Day Weekend - The Life of Single Mom is Not Bad”

  1. Susan Shepherd says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    Laura,

    It was really great to see you and Melina when you came out to visit. I’m realy touched that you took time out of your busy schedule to stop by for a visit. Just sorry it was so chaotic here when you visited. Melina has really grown and turned into such a cutie. You better watch out for that one. She has an impish gleam in her eye. She’ll keep you guessing -that one. Mark my word.
    Hope to see you guys again soon when you come back.

    Big Hugs!

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