24th November 2008

Hours Away from Delivering Baby Girl Melina

It’s 1:24 a.m. and I’m due at the hospital by noon.  I’m delivering Melina today.  As I write in the most comfortable spot I can get into, she is quite active in my womb.  It’s her last night inside this warm, cozy place.  Maybe she’s ready to take on the world, if she’s anything like her Mom.  Her movement the past day or so is whole body movement - she stretches across the tummy.  She is still breech, but I believe she has dropped a little the last three or so days.  I can see my rib cage again at the top of my sides.  And my lower back pain and sciatica has intensified. 

When she stretches inside of me, it’s like she’s doing yoga.  Her head stretches on the tummy wall, and then subsides.  I feel her most when I’ve taken the time to sit down and prop my feet up.  She seems to have a bit of a routine in utero at this late stage.  I can’t believe I’m sharing the last hours with her inside of me.  38 1/2 weeks - of carrying a child inside of me.  Such amazement at what the female (and now female turned male) body can do to support this growth that becomes a child.  I am ready for this part of the fertility journey to end.  I am as prepared as I will be for the next phase - life - outside the womb, in this world, and all its challenges.  I am blessed to have made it this far in this pregnancy and fertility journey.  There are so many women who have tried to get this far, and have not.  I am lucky.  God was kind to me.

It’s harder to move at this point - At this stage, you are just plain bigger than big.  You’re huge.  People get nervous when you go shopping - they’re afraid you’re going to break water, and force them to deliver a child, something they are hardly trained in doing.  I feel  and look much like a walrus - although thank God I don’t have those teeth hanging out of my mouth - ;-)  A few less rolls too - but still huge, just huge. 

So now, it’s time to focus on Melina’s arrival - her safe entry into this present world.  I pray to God that she enters without trauma, that the doctors and nurses and staff are able to bring her into this world without complication.  If complication occurs, I pray it’s minor and lasts only temporarily.  I pray that I, her mother, am protected from harm during surgery and c-section recovery.  I pray that I can support her as she needs in the coming hours, days, weeks and months, which God willing turn into years that pass us by.  What grace we have to be healthy and sound mind and body.  Even better to have a gracious heart that can give a person compassion - and that I can share this with Melina.

It’s time to turn in, to try to sleep - one last time before my life changes for the better, God willing.  I thank God, friends and my family members who’ve made this easier on me - who’ve saluted my desire to have a child - regardless of their own personal opinions.  I thank all who’ve checked in with me this weekend to see how I’m doing. 

It’s showtime as some would say - I try to think not so  much about the surgery as about the outcome - and by the time I’m retiring “tonight” Monday night, I am with child in my arms, or nearby, and I’m experiencing the most wonderful thing in the world - a healthy child, a healthy baby girl - a dream I’ve had for many, many years.

We’ll announce on www.twitter.com/bizresearchlmt for sure, and hopefully through www.twitter.com/laurathieme but the latter is not yet hooked up through my cell phone.  For those of you who follow me through Facebook, it’ll also be announced there.

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