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Laura Thieme

Bizresearch President – 10 years - 2007

Fisher College of Business Lecturer on Search Marketing

OSU Russian Studies Grad – 1993

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18th January 2008

A Fertility Journey for Working Women

If you are a working woman, considering or trying to have children, and you’re over 30, read on:  If you are a man or woman who is squeamish about personal medical details, I’d skip this one.

I was married and divorced very early.  I’ve had long-term relationships, one that was 10 years (almost a marriage in itself), and a couple of others that were close to two years each.  Since turning 30-something, I began to look at relationships differently.  It’s true what they say for most women who want children - and have always wanted children -the body clock begins to click.  I’ve known for a long time that I wanted children.  Journaled many years ago, long before having children was even possible, that this was a dream of mine.  But I didn’t want to rush relationships for the sole and therefore wrong purpose of having a child - or I’d be divorced twice like some people I know - or unhappy raising a child with my husband.  It isn’t unusual to hear stories from friends who have married to have children, or have had children to save their marriage.

I don’t feel like I’m missing out if I don’t have a true marriage (which my first was hardly that).  I absolutely will feel huge regrets if I don’t pursue having children.  I have five four-legged kids, three cats and two dogs, and several employees, contractors - I teach, I run a business, blah blah blah.  All of this is a bit much for the average man to swallow.   Every man can handle a pretty woman on his side, but an ambitious, accomplished, intelligent thought-provoking debater who has travelled the world - that can be perhaps too much for most men I know, that are in fact still single or divorced.  So, why not have kids without the man?  Not perfect, I know.  I’m sometimes Catholic, and always a Christian.  Not exactly what I woke up and decided early in my life.  But  now, why not?

For men and women both, as fertile body clocks tick tock away, it can be too late for their bodies to pro-create once they’ve finally made up their minds to do so.   In today’s world there are many ways to help a couple or even a single person pro-create.  Enter the expensive world of fertility drugs, and/or alternative therapies.  I decided nearly four years ago to pro-create on my own, with donor sperm, regardless of my relationship.  I chose to do this without drugs, and learned through ultrasounds that I had polyps and fibroids and a blocked tube.  All diagnostics were paid for out of pocket - however, the surgeries were included in my insurance.  I’ve had Aetna, Anthem and now Aetna again.  Insurance can be a big factor in fertility.  It’s quite costly, and many people invest thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars over a period of two to three years.

If it had not been for my curiosity, my willingness to work with different fertility doctors throughout Ohio, and financial wherewithall, I would not have known I had all of these issues.  I found I loved learning about my body, and what was happening inside of me.  And yes, the only way to really discover that is through x-rays, internal ultrasounds, and some rather painful probes.  The most painful probe was the test they run to see if your tubes are open - I felt like I should have taken some strong painkillers before that test.  Of course, why it’s so important to do these outpatient tests on a cold, metal table is beyond me.  Cleanliness I get, but must it be that cold in those damn rooms?

Anyway, after much internal emotional and physical conflict, I’ve decided to do in-vitro, after four years of occasionally focusing on inseminations, probably two or three a year.  Women who are 37-39, they have less than a 12% chance of conceiving.  IF they choose to do fertility drugs, they can increase their chances to more than 40%, however, by choosing to engage in fertility treatments, they may increase numerous risks including cancer.

I will post entries here throughout this journey - just in this category.  If you want updates on this cateogry, you might want to subscribe to our feed.  I think there might be away to put “fertility” and “laura thieme” in your search in Google Feeds where you manage subscriptions.  Otherwise, just come back and visit.  I will leave comments open in the event that other women going through the same fertility journey, choose to ask questions and have a forum to learn more and share their insights and experiences.

Recently, SpaFinder.com posted a blog entry regarding spas and fertility.  I’ve linked to that, and I encourage you to check it out.  I personally am interested in the Fertile Soul program, and perhaps the post-baby boot camp - both of whom I’ve contacted already.

A couple of days ago, I started my protocol.  In the subsequent entries under A Fertility Journey, I’ll write about the specifics. 

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