6th September 2009

Crawling, Repositioning, Child Wrangling?

Last night I was online updating my LinkedIn contacts and noted a colleague’s description of herself on Twitter.com.  She mentioned amongst many things that she is a “child wrangler”.  I thought that was an interesting reference, and found it particularly relevant as I tried to change Melina’s diaper this morning.  As Melina gets older, diaper changes are more of a challenge.  The changing table works best for me, but is not her favorite place anymore.  I have to be careful as she’s been known to try to fly off the table, legs rolling to either side, sitting up, trying to use it as a backwards dive launch pad, although still unsuccessful in the latter events thankfully.  If I change her on the bed, she tries to roll away, or in some cases tries to sit up or roll off the bed.  The floor, however, presents even more rolling & crawling opportunity for her, and so it’s a continuous struggle to get Melina to lie still while I change that diaper.   The worst?  A very dirty diaper, and a child having a temper tantrum.  Nothing like trying to “wrangle” a poopy child, and I’m not just talking about her diaper either.  :-)

Humorous frustration aside, I can’t think of a better way to spend a Sunday morning.  I am on the floor writing in my blog.  We both had a late breakfast.  She’s working on teething biscuits and occasionally getting food stuck.  I’m pulling her out of the high chair, calmly but swiftly.  She turns around and knocks something off of the counter as she’s in my arms, as I make sure she’s not choking.  The 32 oz juice bottle, $8 a bottle at Kroger, flies off the counter and spills onto the floor.  As it’s going “glug glug glug”, I’m saying to Melina, calmly, don’t worry - just want to make sure you’re okay.” Teething biscuit mesh now cleared from her mouth, juice in, and repositioning her back into the high chair to eat the fresh peach I’ve mashed up for her.  Now it’s clean up time on the floor.  Down on my hands and knees, which seems to be a common position these days as Melina is into everything.

After breakfast, and I bring her into the living room, I enjoy watching her discover many things, including the camera case, which she seems to love.  Anything with a strap on it.  Then there is a momentous jump to a clapping fit.  That’s boring after three seconds, then it’s picking up a toy, then it’s”let’s see how this toy sounds up against the camera case”, and then she’s crawling, towards the dinner table and what - I have to go over and see - she’s out of sight.  She was fascinated by the computer desktop workstation light that’s near the floor. Of course, I’ve just described Melina’s activity time for about two minutes.  You have to watch a child closely at this stage.  I say that, but it doesn’t always get through to some people watching her for an hour or two - who don’t have children.  Really, I mean really, you have to watch her at all times….

The four-legged kids are curled up next to one another.  For them all to be rescue animals, the two cats and dog get along extremely well with one another, and with Melina.  They are peacefully watching the outside activity.  Melina is now watching Baby Einstein’s Baby’s First Sounds.  These are great, regardless of some who think you will rot your child’s brain and increase their blood pressure in front of a TV, for 1/2 hour a day.  I put her in the Exersaucer, another thing that pediatricians have been known to discourage, as she watches the DVD so she’s not a total potato sack while watching TV as this encourages her to stand and put pressure on her feet and legs.

I can not imagine life without Melina.  It would seem like there is little purpose in my day.  There is no more sitting around, ever, and doing nothing.  If I’m not putting something together for Melina, or attending to her, or cleaning up after her, or trying to squeeze in work during the weekend, or late at night (have fulltime daycare for her during week), or cooking or doing laundry, or catching up on the phone with family, or trying to squeeze a 10-15 minute personal call in once a week with one friend, that’s all there is - and there is so much to do that’s not getting done.  I have a friend who says she’s bored all the time.  I’m not sure what to say to that - other than bring yourself down to my house and I’ll keep you busy.   But what would life be if we were not focused on a child?  I don’t want to tell people that are single, or without children, to have a child if they don’t want one - but all I can say is my opinion, life is way better with a child in it.  Narcissism begins to fade - quickly….

I can now understand why working mothers tend to flock together - it’s because we are juggling so much to work and to mother our children.  We need people that understand what we are juggling, especially in this modern society of hyper technology tools.  The multi-tasking mom is extraordinarily useful with her time as far as I can observe.  If you only have six hours to yourself during a work day, and five days a week, to work straight through, I guarantee you will make the most of your time.  Personally, I weigh what I do very carefully, and do not do anything that’s frivolous or a waste of time.  On the rare occasion, I’m coaxed into doing something like this with someone who does not have children, I’m wondering what the heck was I thinking?  When you are single, you can waste time.  When you do not have children, you can waste even more time.  But not so with a child, and not so as a single, working mother.  You just can’t afford to 100% chill, not at this stage of motherhood at least, since that’s all I can testify to.

As my new position of child wrangler, repositioner, tracker, and expert profiler expands as a Mom, and all the tasks that go along with being a working mom, it does not leave much time to do anything that does not serve a purpose or add value to the day.  I am very appreciative of the new moms that write me, who are not doing this single-handed, and whom indicate that their respect has grown for me as a working single mom.   The good news is that we are happy.  We are healthy as far as we know.  We are fulfilled.  Life is fuller, harder, busier, but way better than it was a year ago.  And that’s what amazes me - it’s been a year ago this weekend that April hosted my baby shower.  A year - and it flies faster than ever.  But, I would be lost if I was not a child wrangler at this stage in my life.  I thank you God.