28th July 2009

Did My Pediatrician Just Fire Me?

Melina Vocalization
Melina this past Sunday at Patricia’s House

The past three weeks have been frustrating.  While I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Melina had experienced some issues - and that I wasn’t happy with the pediatrician’s solution, I was further bothered by a phone call with the nurse last week.  A nurse made a comment about “I don’t want to discredit you because you are a first-time Mom, but I don’t think that cry that you heard is because ….” I became pretty annoyed with this statement.  I’ve heard a lot of Moms say, doctors will discredit you because you are a first-time Mom, but I’ve always been happy with my pediatrician’s office - in fact I really like my pediatrician and her staff.  But this particular nurse’s comments - it bothered me -enough for me to tell her that, and to “politely” end the call. 

I had scheduled a consult with an integrated care pediatrician to learn more about baby massage and if needed, baby chiropractics.  Melina was suffering from a minor medical issue - on a scale of 1 to 10, I rate this a 1 (meaning minor). 

 I’ve seen extreme benefits over my adult life from integrated care, and strongly believe in alternative medicine in addition to traditional medicine.  Whether it’s shiatsu (my favorite), massage, chiropractics, eating healthy (yes, alternative for some), or just good ole positive mindset and outlook, I’m a big believer in trying things other than drugs.   I believe that in some cases drugs create more problems.  Of course, if antibiotics are needed, I’m okay with them, but if we can alter our lifestyle instead of taking a drug, I’m in favor of learning more. 

I’ve put my animals through integrated care and believe in many cases it has saved their lives, or significantly extended their lives.  So, when I learned through my integrated pet care specialist, Dr. Donn Griffith and his son, Bryan Griffith, about Dr. Sant (Whole Kids Pediatrics) - I was curious to see what Dr. Sant could offer Melina and I.  But due to my overall happiness at current pediatrician’s practice (name withheld), I saw no reason to see Dr. Sant. 

Until Melina started having problems three weeks ago.  I didn’t care for the solutions that my current pediatrician was endorsing.  I knew it was minor stuff to them and in the big picture to Melina and I.  But seeing my child cry going to the bathroom, and after going to the bathroom, was doing me in.  In fact, it seemed as if she was sobbing after using the bathroom.  This worried me - and thus the call to the doctor/nurse.  Thus the answer of the nurse above -and thus, a call ensued with the doctor.

My ped doctor was very calm, kind, and patient.  She heard me out.  I like her very much.  But the doctor indicated that the nurse had apparently cried after my call with her two days previous - which I was somewhat questioning but hey, we all have our emotions and they are to be respected - and the doctor began to suggest that perhaps their pediatric practice was not a good fit for me.  Huh?  Did my pediatrician just break up with me?

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  So I might wonder if the practice stuck me with the new doc (new to the practice) because I’m a first-time Mom (although I ended up preferring her way over any other ped there), and the first time I have an issue with a nurse, is my pediatrician really suggesting I go elsewhere? 

Perhaps it’s because I wanted modified vaccine schedules so that Melina was getting no more than two shots at a time.  Perhaps it’s because I had called three times about my kid in the context of her pooping.  Perhaps it’s because I wanted to make sure this had nothing to do with sacral dimple, and the two ultrasounds she’d had.  Perhaps it’s because when someone mentions the possibility of tethered cord at one ultrasound, you don’t look upon that lightly.  You’d be an idiot if you did, and something happened later down the road.

I didn’t like the solution they were proposing for Melina (laxatives - albeit mild they said), and asked for other suggestions.  I’m annoyed about their suggestion I go elsewhere and that if I was going to see Dr. Sant, that I go there definitively - well, indicating that “I like Dr. S - and I’d have my own kids go there - blah blah blah.”  I’m shocked from a professional perspective - I am often approached by people new to search marketing.  I have to spend more time with them, and at times might admit, it’s hard to deal with.  When they suggest they are going to talk to another practitioner, I half fall off my chair pushing them in that direction.  I absolutely encourage 2nd and 3rd opinions.  More educated customers are better customers.  But I don’t typically tell them another place is better, unless of course the customer has no money…..

But to suggest I go elsewhere annoyed me.  I could be kinda flippant and say, “Holy Shit - did my ped just break up with me?”  Funny in a way.

So, here’s the good news - I am not convinced that I have to switch docs because of one thing.  But, since pediatricians seem to prefer that you switch due to care, protocol, okay maybe.  I took Melina to Dr. Sant on Friday.  She suggested spinach & kale, steamed, to be worked into Melina’s diet.  She showed me how to massage Melina’s tummy with some olive oil (yes, nothing expensive, just simple as your kitchen cabinet stock).  She suggested Probiotics because Melina was born under c-section and was exposed to antiobiotics.  She suggested Benefiber. 

Melina started going just fine on Saturday.  After a delightful lunch with a good friend, Patricia Bright (see picture below), Melina is on the go and enjoying life.  Patricia is one of those integrated care specialists that I began to go to years ago, after a doctor prescribed medicine that negatively affected me.  I started going to Patricia and things that no doctor could fix were fixed by Patricia.  She’s since moved onto mindfulness meditation for job seekers.  And she is always a warm gentle spirit for my child. 

As Patricia says on her blog entry dated the 29th of July -
“Beginner’s Mind:  with fresh eyes and an open attitude you can begin anything.”

Melina beginning to crawl - getting antsy about staying in one position for long

16th July 2009

Crying, Letting Go & Knowing This is My Everything

I’ve been through a lot of difficult things in my life.  As an adult woman, the last 21 years have not been easy.  But as a mother, as a working mom running a technology business in a really tough economy, I’ve found life to be extremely challenging.  At the time, when I’m needed the most on the personal front, as a mother, I’ve never done so much for so little on the professional side.  I’ve always bent over backwards to serve my clients on so many levels.  I never charge for all my hours.  It’s actually a professional weakness of mine as a consultant.  Right now, I’m stretched very thin professionally somewhat due to how little I charge due in part to a bad economy, despite 12 years of experience, and despite what I produce on a daily basis. 

I consider myself a very, very strong, resilient person - and every SINGLE thing I’ve been through in my life - prepares me for the next stage.  So, I rarely regret anything that’s happened, knowing that it makes me stronger.  I also never question God as to why I’m at this stage in my life.  Unfortunately, I do not remember to take a step back enough and say thank you for all I have.

So, right now, I’m launching a technology product, which requires me to be work harder as a business owner.  I work on average 6-8 hours during the day, and at night, another 3-5 hours, often taking me into the wee hours of the morning.  I’m trying to change my business model from consultant to product.  I see huge favorable feedback on the product side.  It gives me strength to keep plugging along.  And I see new sales coming in, and in fact have almost doubled monthly sales back to where they used to be, before baby, before tough economy hit.  But due to economy, due to teaching, and due to becoming a mother, life is honestly just a little harder, right?  There are SO many places and people that are waiting on that check… For most of us, life is harder right now.  Many of us are having to do more with less.  So I know you understand what I’m saying … and everything that goes into it’s “just harder right now.”

You can imagine, for those who know me well, what I’m really saying.  But we all need a release of some kind on some level.  For women - we’re supposed to cry.  God gave us estrogen for a reason, right?  But, I’ve not been able to cry - really cry, and let it go, but once, since November 24, 2008.  I cried on Christmas Eve after a phone call from a family member.  I cried hard too.  The kind that makes you feel so much better after you cry, let go, and let it all out.  There are days - when things are so tough on so many levels professionally and personally, that honestly I would love to just really break down, cry and let go - just relax and let it all out.  But I do not have that luxury - I have to be in control, focus, and make smart decisions.

Now, enter baby.  Enter mommy status.  About two weeks ago, Melina had some changes on her end.  All of a sudden, she’s not sleeping well during the day, or night, and it’s affecting her internally.  She’s crying more each night - and the cry is different and I think I know what it is, but am not sure.  I call the doctor, and go in last week, on Friday.  I was concerned about something going on, including what I expect is teething.  The doctors dismiss everything pretty much, suggest some ointment for a wierd rash on her back, and tell me not to worry about the other stuff.  But this “other stuff” was gnawing at me. 

Come Monday, Melina had not improved.  I could tell that her discomfort was growing by the day.  I called the doctor after hours, but felt that Melina’s situation was not “seriously ill”, and called first thing Tuesday morning.  I was prepared to drop everything - no matter the schedule, meetings, presentations - everything - at a moment’s notice - I’d change the whole schedule for M.  But they said, if her situation does not change within 24 hours, call them and they would see her.  The nurse actually picked up on it most - I told her about Melina’s cries at night and how they were different right now.  She was concerned but the doc said come in first thing Wednesday morning if her situation had not changed.

Wednesday morning - it hadn’t.  I took her in - knowing I had a presentation to an ad agency on the product at 11:30.  I had a colleague coming into town, to attend another presentation I was giving on the product to 30+ industry colleagues Wednesday night.  I took Melina in and they began to do an exam on her.  What I had feared about her was true.  Melina was impacted.  And right there on the table, they pulled it out of her as she screamed so hard, cried so hard - screamed, braced from pain - that her nostrils turned yellow. 

Because I had to keep plugging along - while I began to break down, lose it, with her in my arms, I no more than teared up, and got the instructions I needed.  But what had just happened to Melina, and how I felt about this growing situation for the past two weeks, and my calls/visits to the doctor - all I can say is tonight, at 3:00 a.m., I woke up, began to think about what had happened to Melina, and I began to cry, really cry, and hard.  I could hear her in the other room.  While the doctor had said she was going to be sore after what had happened, I listened to what seemed to be growing discomfort in her sleep.  So I went to her, despite what my doc might say or any parent might say about letting a child cry it out at night.

As I changed Melina and heard her cry from the pain she had suffered for the past weeks, and then most excruciatingly on Wednesday at the doctor’s office - I tried to make her feel better.  I nursed her, held her, rubbed her, and listened to The River on the radio.  I began to cry again, quietly, with her in my arms.  I asked God to help me, please, take good care of her.  I begged Him to help me the right decisions by her, to keep her from ever suffering because I didn’t listen to my intuition.  As I continued to silently cry, with her sleeping away in my arms, attached to my breast, I listened to the music.  The song was “This is My Everything”.  And that was it - that was exactly how I was feeling - this is my everything.  What I was holding in my arms, what I sought to protect, comfort, love - this was Melina.  She is my everything. 

I challenged my decisions with her for the past two weeks and the doctors.  I determined I needed to do things differently for her care and well-being.  I would look into some integrated medicine in the next couple of days, and I prayed above all else, to please, God, let me do right by her.  Don’t let me make the wrong decisions.  Please help me to always provide the best possible solution, and listen to my gut about what was right for her.  I thanked Him for bringing me Melina in my life.  But I finally let go to the struggle of how hard this is, if only for 45 minutes, as I held and loved her. 

I know this blog is a ramble.  Sorry for that.  But I needed just to get some of this out of my head as it’s been swirling about for a while, and today was the pinnacle of feeling helpless as a Mom.  I know there’s more ahead.  I don’t what’s ahead, but I know it doesn’t get easier.  Seeing your daughter scream at the top of her lungs, in pain, is the worst.  It can shake you to your core.  Well, for me, it can.  I can do many things in life that some only dream about - but this, being a Mom, is genuinely the hardest thing I’ve ever loved doing or being.  And  while tonight, I enabled myself to cry quietly, and just let go, I thanked God for putting Melina in my arms, in my care, and in my complete aura of everything I do - she is why I exist - I was meant to be a Mom - and I thanked God for making it possible.  I just prayed tonight for help on the level of making the best decisions for her and her personal care. 

As I put her back in her crib, and she stretched out in comfort, and curled up in her little fetus position and went back to sleep - I felt relief in knowing I could provide love and care for this little child. 

Postscript:  It’s 4:51 a.m.  I’m still teary eyed and sniffling as I read my work emails tonight and get caught up on everything that had happened since 3:45 p.m. today when I signed offline.  There were two emails today that meant a lot to me.  One was from an existing service client.  Another from a product client.  Both were part of my work from Wednesday, part of projects due, etc.  Both are moms.  Neither knew what had happened to Melina today, they just knew that something was going on - and both wrote me a note about it.  Both emails were so very kind - on both a professional and a personal level.  That’s one thing I didn’t expect being a mom - I didn’t expect to get to know my female clients on this personal level because I’m a mom.  For those of you who read my blog who are moms, working moms, and for that matter, working fathers - I just want you to know how *much* it means to me that you have sincere compassion for my daughter and I - and that you take the time to reach out.  Thank you - it means a lot. 

12th July 2009

A Trip to the Mall - With the Baby & Without A Cell Phone

Today, I felt the need to get out for a few hours.  Laundry, work, taking care of Melina, staring at my dog and cats - it was all getting to be a bit much.  I felt the need to get Melina out and about.  Honestly, even if it wasn’t for Melina, I wanted to get out for some fresh air. 

Melina and I headed for a stroll at Easton Mall today.  I wasn’t sure where my cell phone was, and I decided we’d venture out without a phone as an attachment.  How often do you venture out without a cell phone?  I know you might say, but what if something happens?  Well, as you’ll see from the entry below, if something does happen at a Mall - you’ll have more people than ever taking pictures, video and making calls, texting, Twittering - you name it - because people are “MARRIED” to their cell phones.

I was relieved to be without it personally, for an afternoon.  When you venture out without a cell phone, you take everything around you in, you breathe, you notice things you’ve not managed to notice in a while.  Like the fact that way too many people are on their cell phones, at a mall.  The mall itself used to be the entertainment.  Now, you see people parked outside stores, leaning up against the walls, with their heads down, noses pointed at their cell phones.  Their texting - very few people are actually talking to anyone.  I noticed fathers - with their children - no wives, no mothers in sight.  And the fathers?  What were the single for the day fathers doing?  Talking on their cell phones and texting, while the child was nearby, complaining, begging for attention.  I did not notice one mother with her child, on a cell phone, talking or texting.

How often do we venture out without a cell phone?  Take a drive without talking on the phone? Take a few hours to just focus on your child, your baby? 

So here’s what I got to enjoy today, because I was focused on Melina and nothing else:

1) Lots of babies everywhere, stollers, and people out for a Sunday afternoon walk

2) Singletons - were hanging out, texting or talking on their cell phones

3) Few people seemed to be buying all that much - it was more “shopping” than buying

4) Prices were the same, it seemed.  Don’t retailers know we’re in a deep recession and our disposable income no longer exists?

5) I had a psychic moment - thought of someone I hadn’t seen in a while and wondered if we’d hug or debate if we ever ran into each other - and minutes later, I found myself at Macy’s Starbucks.  I ran into a friend here that I had not seen in likely two years?  It was great to see her - we hugged - she met Melina and it was so very good to exchange a few kind words.  I had no idea she worked there.

6) I stopped to enjoy a sandwich at Panera - and watched Melina kick and get very excited about a bottle of formula.  She giggled, cackled, and delighted in Mommy’s 100% attention on her. 

Cash outlay - some gas, an iced coffee, and a frontega chicken sandwich - probably $15 total. 

Uninterrupted time with my daughter with my 100% attention on her, and seeing her 100% happiness = priceless

11th July 2009

BPA in Plastics - Dangerous For Baby But Not For You?

If I didn’t have a baby, I wouldn’t have known about the risk of BPA in plastic.  I noticed that Medela bottles, and all of its breastfeeding supplies were BPA free.  Everything breastfeeding-related that the baby would come in contact with, or I would and then in turn, give to her, was BPA-free.  I didn’t know much about BPA, and wondered why other baby bottles weren’t BPA-free. 

Within weeks to possibly two months, I noticed more products were becoming BPA-free.  For example, Playtex bottles were BPA free but not the liners that you’d put in the nursers.  Well, that didn’t make sense, did it?  But sure enough, within a few more weeks, Playtex drop-in liners were also BPA free. 

BPA Free Nurser Bottles - but not the liners
BPA free nurser, but not the liners
Liners purchased late 2008

BPA-Free Drop in Liners from Playtex
BPA free drop-in Playtex bottle nurser liners
Purchased February-March 2009

So then I began to wonder about the plastic formula bottles, containers, baby food, pacifiers, teethers.  Why weren’t they BPA free?

And what about all the plastics we have in our lives?  Water bottles are just the beginning.  When you go to the grocery store - any food or drink item of ANY kind that is in a plastic container  - is it BPA free?  Does it say its BPA free? It’s become a bit of a marketing phenom - if a baby product is BPA free, moms are buying it, and thus it’s clearly labelled like you see the box above.

I’m not an expert on BPA, but check out TreeHugger’s site on what they say about BPA in plastics, water bottles, etc.

TreeHugger’s article on plastic water bottles, specifically sports water bottles

An excerpt from TreeHugger.com’s article linked above

7 Ways to beat BPA, in order of Importance:

1. Ditch the clear plastic baby bottles, right now. All the research that says there are problems point at the effect of the estrogen-like BPA on children as being the most significant.
2. Tin cans are often lined in plastic BPA and sit around a long time; get rid of older tin cans, particularly if they contain tomatoes and other acidic fruits.
3. Don’t use your polycarbonate bottle for hot drinks.
4. Polycarbonate bottles get crazed and cracked as they get older; that increases surface area. Get rid of old ones.
5. Replace your Polycarbonate bottle with a Sigg, Kleen Kanteen, or the new BPA free Camelbak, particularly if pregnant or pre-pubescent.
6. Replace jugs where water sits around a long time, like Brita knockoffs. (Brita says they are BPA free)
7. Stop using jugged water cooler water, get a filter and cooler that uses city water. It is a big jug so there probably isn’t much of a problem, but why are you drinking bottled water anyways?

Don’t worry about polycarbonates in non-food related products like CDs and DVDs. but keep them out of babies’ mouths. (TreeHugger.com).

So, as of today, I noticed that teethers, pacifiers and more plastic products in the baby aisle at Kroger are BPA-free.

I also noticed that a baby drink product, called FirstJuice, was in BPA-free plastic. 

What about bottled water that you drink, foods contained in plastic - is it BPA free? 

Even of more interest is to see the viral video that’s a hit on the Web - from Evian Bottled Water.  They used over 70 babies to film their new viral hit. 

Here’s my question - did the producers realize that Evian plastic water bottles contain BPA and there is particular concern about its affect on children and infants?  Will Evian, who has been associated with “pure” water as a brandname, be the first water bottle manufacturer to become BPA free?  Their slogan, Live Young, is particularly ironic considering we may link this to breast cancer and thus, they might die young.  Sound extreme?  How many women do you know with breast cancer, or who have had breast cancer?

BPA is known to have estrogen-like affects - from what I’m reading - concerns about babies, children, possibilities of breast cancer in women, and other problems.

 So, don’t take the risk.  Don’t take the FDA word on it - that plastic is fine.  If there is enough research to cause baby product manufacturers to phase out BPA in plastics, shouldn’t you do the same?  Don’t buy products with BPA in it - or that don’t say BPA-free.

Isn’t what we put into this little mouth important?  As important as she is, what you put into your mouth matters just as much.

Taking Care of Baby
Melina in 2009

Do it for your health and hers too.

Postscript:

Links regarding BPA in water bottles and other plastics products, including baby products

Marshall Democrat - News - re Water Bottles & BPA
Katie Couric on Bottled Water vs Tap Water

Babies & BPA

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